


Window Etiquette

by crashlea8



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Scott McCall, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awesome Sheriff Stilinski, Awkward Stiles, Banshee Lydia Martin, Biting, Blood, Creeper Peter, Creeper Peter Hale, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Funny, Grumpy Derek, Hilarity, Inept Derek, M/M, Minor Angst, Minor Violence, POV Peter Hale, POV Sheriff Stilinski, POV Stiles, Sassy Lydia, Sassy Peter Hale, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Bromance, Scratching, Shameless Smut, Steter - Freeform, Teen Wolf, Top Peter Hale, Witty Banter, moderate build, satan in a v-neck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-02-09 05:52:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 30,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1971378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crashlea8/pseuds/crashlea8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ha, these wolves think they’re so freaking smart. Stiles continues lounging, the picture of nonchalance as he hears his window slowly lift.<br/>He makes pretence of heaving a pronounced long suffering sigh. “We’ve talked about this whole knocking thing remember, what if I’d been indecent? Window etiquette’s totally gone to hell this century.”<br/>He  grins pre-emptively, expecting one of Derek’s barked responses that consist mainly of ‘Shut up Stiles’ and ‘wah wah wah this is why I need you to harbour my hairy –but sexy- werewolf ass now’, they were so witty. Naturally then the dark and silky smooth retort was enough to plant  Stiles face first on his floor as he yelped and flailed himself right off his bed .<br/>“Ooh well I don’t know what sort of sordid affair you have with my nephew but I would’ve thought indecency was kind of the point.”<br/>- or where Peter climbs through Stiles window one night: banter and hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Messiah wolf?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody ,  
> I disclaim all rights to everything, except the witty banter which is my frankenstein's monster of a love child.  
> I really wanted a Steter story that encompasses how disfunctional both of the characters are and how they put on a good ( read hysterical and sarcastic) front. Hopefully I've managed to capture their dynamic and if i havent and its all in my head then I dont give a crap haha.
> 
> I wrote this for myself but if there are any like minded awesome people out there who'd like to give me some love, DO IT. I practically wallow in it like the piles and piles of money I'll never have XD .  
> On that note.  
> Enjoy xx.

Stiles was lounging on his stomach with Deadpool ripping the guts out of his enemy and wearing the intestines as some sort of sick boa 2 inches from his face when the tell-tale skittering on tile sounded from out his window. He smirks to himself as he licks his thumb and turns the page with a smug sort of satisfaction. Ever since Scott had been bitten that sound was one that he was most attuned to. Well that and the creak of the middle stair which announced his father; who refused to master the art of knocking. That had been a particularly awkward encounter and one that Stiles was not keen to relive. Ha, these wolves think they’re so freaking smart. He continues lounging, the picture of nonchalance as he hears his window slowly lift.  
He makes pretence of heaving a pronounced long suffering sigh. “We’ve talked about this whole knocking thing remember, what if I’d been indecent? Window etiquette’s totally gone to hell this century.”  
He grins pre-emptively, expecting one of Derek’s barked responses that consist mainly of ‘Shut up Stiles’ and ‘wah wah wah this is why I need you to harbour my hairy –but sexy- werewolf ass now.’ They were so witty. Naturally then the dark and silky smooth retort was enough to plant Stiles face first on his floor as he yelped and flailed himself right off his bed .  
“Ooh well I don’t know what sort of sordid affair you have with my nephew but I would’ve thought indecency was kind of the point.”  
“Zombie wolf?!” Stiles chokes out as he rolls over and scrambles backwards.  
“Please, I prefer messiah wolf, the least you could do when you insult me is make it original. I mean are the claws and murder not incentive enough?”  
“Hey now! It’s an endearing nickname! It’s positively cuddly really.”  
Peter stifles a laugh and stalks over to where Stiles is huddled by his bed still clutching his chest from panic.  
“First you’re worried about me catching you indecent,” Peter says his eyes lingering over stiles body, flashing with sardonic amusement “and now I’m positively cuddly?”  
Stiles gapes stupidly for a moment. How is he supposed to form a cohesive response when there’s a psychotic- sexy- axe murdering- probably- creepy uncle wolf-sexy creepy uncle wolf-eyeing him like he’s all kinds of edible. Stiles just about smacks himself in the head, repeatedly. Enough of your delusional commentary! You have failed me brain! Traitor. Come to think of it his body wasn’t exactly being a loyalist either.  
He swallows and wipes a sweaty palm on his batman shirt.  
“Fallacies, paraphrasing.” he mutters under his breath. He looks back to Peter who is suddenly way too intimately close with a hand out to Stiles. He reaches out to take it.  
“I’d love to hear what you know about phalluses.” Peter declares, the words a velvety caress in Stiles ear. Naturally Stiles chokes, literally. He falls back to the floor flushing furiously. Peter withdraws his hand and laughs.  
Looking indignant Stiles climbs to his feet. He swallows down a cheer at overcoming the constraints of his own flailing clumsiness. “What are you even doing here?” he asks.  
Peter has in the meantime reclined back onto stiles bed and is lying on his back checking his fingernails. He doesn’t bother looking at Stiles as he states without enthusiasm. “Nephew dearest has deigned it in everyone’s best interest to watch each other’s back, puppy alpha heartily agrees. And your back is so terribly pale and fragile.” He looks to stiles grinning to gage the young man’s reaction. “He also felt it poignant to remind me that ‘I have nothing better to do’ and that ‘I should do something useful for a change. Six years as a amnesiac catatonic invalid doesn’t do a whole lot for your events calendar it seems.’ Peter says looking pensive but quickly turning it into a default smirk.  
“I’m sure you’ve got a murder or triple homicide pencilled in there somewhere to look forward to.” stiles quips with mock enthusiasm, he continues “thanks for the update and all. But, usually wolf guard/babysitting duty is performed OUTSIDE my window totally covertly and without my knowledge at all.” Stiles says mocking there wolves and their sneaky ineptitude. Puh-lease like Stiles wouldn’t notice them; well founded paranoia, ADHD and Adderall can make a naturally curious person a deductive savant. He’s practically Sherlock Holmes, sociopathy aside, obviously. He’d leave that to Peter. He points at his window to further drive his point across.  
“Out!”  
Peter leant upon his elbows to look at Stiles. His gaze following the length of Stiles arm to where he was pointing decisively at the window. Peter rolled his eyes and made a phhhhh noise with his lips. Stiles put a hand on his hip still pointing.  
“Oh yeah, real mature. Come on, out. A teenage boy needs his privacy,” he demands. Peter arches an eyebrow suggestively and Stiles fights the urge to face palm himself. He knew he should’ve gone with beauty sleep. He decides to just point again, Peter heaves a weary sigh in response. He makes a show of groaning as he gets up off the bed.  
“Yeah, yeah you’re old and decrepit we get it.”  
Peter looks wounded “I’m not old!” He protests sulking. He regains his composure as he moves past Stiles reaching to squeeze the back of the boys neck gently on the way out. Stiles hand slaps his wrist away forcefully as soon as he realises Peter’s intentions. The older man is shocked and looks bemusedly at Stiles who pulls both of his hands in front of himself in a ridiculous martial arts gesture.  
“Woah woah woah, no touchy buddy! Don’t get any ideas; I’m down with the wolfy gestures all right. I am so not about to be dominated by you, ok. So just keep on walking out that window, and don’t even think about mounting me.” Oh god, did he really just say that. His mouth drops open in surprise, probably so he can ram a big fat foot in there. He recovers and tries to give a look of conviction still waving his karate hands.  
Peter snorts in amusement shaking his head. He’s halfway out the window when he turns back to stiles still laughing “Really?”, he asks “just really?” before he disappears into the night.Stiles watches him leave lowering his karate hands,” yeah that’s what I thought.” He makes his way over to his laptop on his desk swinging around once in his chair.

Stiles tended towards hyper vigilance especially at night time, probably something to do with the vast amounts of emotional and physical trauma you know with the assorted messed up nightmares from the great beyond, sleep awakeness and all the gnarly Nogitsune enforced murder dreams, the constant threat of impending supernatural bullshit…yeah it’s a long convoluted mess, welcome to stiles’ mind. Anyway he appreciates the wolves sticking around providing a sense of safety he always feel better around pack more secure and you know having a potential killing machine watching over you didn’t hurt. They never talked about it and it was never specifically ordered or arranged but there was always just a pack member around, either skulking silent sentries or entering with excuses for a sleep over aaaand then there was Peter.  
Because of his hyper vigilance Stiles couldn’t for the life of him sleep without music otherwise he’d be up all night twitching at the creaks in the house or overanalysing a gust of wind. Music is his saviour, whenever he’s aware of his wolfy sentries he tries to customise playlists for them, it just makes it funnier that Peter will be aware it’s for him. Stiles snickers as he cracks his knuckles setting to work. He smiles as he tucks himself into bed to the sounds of Wolf by Kingswood.  
He hears a Derisive snort occasionally and a loud HA as Bad Moon Rising starts playing. He imagines he hears Peter singing along and drifts to sleep with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already finished Peters chapter :p.  
> 'Wolf" is a cover done by Australian rock band Kingswood and it is amazing to here it in a gnarly mans voice so I recommend everyone give it a listen. Bad moon rising by creedence clearwater is what I imagine the werewolf anthem of the universe haha.


	2. Musings of a sociopath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter finds himself questioning his own motives for playing pack nanny and unwittingly finds himself playing nursemaid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the positive feedback guys and fuels my fragile ego, Ha! Fragile. I've been stuck in Peters mindset for a few hours so even to myself that seems a ridiculous statement. Honestly though I really appreciate it.  
> The following chapter is a bit broody and serious but scathing sarcasm and witty banter will return in the next chapter.  
> enjoy.

Peter tilts his head as he listens intently to the young man shuffling about his room and hears the soft clicking of his laptop. He imagines Stiles writing a diary entry about him, ‘his imposing figure stood framed in the moonlight of my window, his V-neck was straining against his chest and biceps’ he stops and looks curiously towards the boys window as he hears him chuckle softly before padding to his bed.  
He quirks an inquisitive brow until the notes of a song wash over him. “Wolf mother where’ve you been you look so worn and so thin,” He snorts loudly and silently applauds the boy for his allusion to Peter playing the pack Nanny.  
He doesn’t mind so much really, he likes Stiles. The boy has a flair for drama and never fails to entertain but, it’s more than that. Even when he was an amnesiac psychopath he never bit the boy against his will, he didn’t even maul him, that’s got to count for something right? Now that he’s died and come back to himself, no longer a psychopath: rather a sociopath with psychopathic tendencies. He felt like Stiles could be a kindred spirit; he empathises with the boy on his nightmares. Every time Peter drifts into unconsciousness he’s wracked by images of flames and the feel of choking heat, he’s met by the scared faces of his victims; those he murdered when his wolf had taken control. He is snapped from his reverie by the crooning of credence Clearwater. Ha! Bad moon rising, gotta love a kid who knows his werewolf classics. He sings along softly looking up at the sky reminiscing of pack barbecues and happy families.  
It was somewhere around “D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R a dinosaur an O-L-D-M-A-N you are an old man,” when Stiles breathing became chokes and frantic, his heartbeat jumped erratically. Peter looks over in concern, he’s torn with indecision. Should he stay out here as ordered or go to the young man. His decision was made for him when the boy’s gasps became choked cries, pleas that the older man couldn’t ignore. He leaps lithely catching the sill and pouring through the window in a fluid motion. He barely makes a sound as his feet touch down in the room swamped with Stiles fear, panic and disgust.  
Perhaps if there were witnesses he would’ve smirked and sneered, providing some witty commentary about how even in his dreams Stiles was the prey or about how he flailed spastically even in unconsciousness. He took the image of the boy in, pale and clammy his arms thrown out arching his back off the bed and tossing his head side to side. Peter hesitates slightly as he approaches Stiles bed but he brings a hand to the boy’s forehead, furrowing his brow at how cold he feels. He grabs a flailing arm gently by the wrist, gently rubbing circles over the fragile skin with his thumb. He kneels carefully by the bed, humming slightly to the music as he keeps a bedside vigil.  
He rolls his eyes at Stiles choice of song; it was obvious to him by now that they were chosen with him in mind. He actually rather likes this song which just makes it worse. Though the song encompasses the complete opposite of what he endeavours to be, well, what he endeavours to be tonight anyway. 

”One I love hurting you.  
Two I love your pain.  
Three let’s get together and play the sinners game.  
Four is for the torture and  
Five is for the shame  
‘cause every time you want it  
I get off on this game.”  
”…l can’t help but smile at your pain, you wanted to play but I already won…”

Stiles starts stilling against Peter’s soothing ministrations. Peter laughs in his head, nurse Peter, it seems like an unlikely role but it’s one he’s played before. He had stayed at his niece’s bedside when she lay comatose, ready with a wet cloth and soothing touch or word, he painted an odd picture. The ability to care and empathise wasn’t ingrained within him; his self-preservation was too strong. Here in these moments though, surrounded by pack and the last vestiges of family he felt like that might be starting to change. He might be on the path to becoming the old -slightly less sociopathic- him; who could do something nice sometimes without even an ulterior motive or end game. …HA! Yeah right Peter you keep telling yourself that. Only what’s your end game now? With Cora you were allaying your own guilt about Laura and trying to connect with your nephew, not to mention rid him of his dickish alpha ineptitude.  
He frowns thoughtfully to himself, thumb still rubbing in soothing circles on Stiles skin. What was he really getting out of this? The pale figure before him emits a low moan, Peter shivers nerves zinging, he shakes himself lightly but becomes even more hyper aware of Stiles body and his slightly parted lips, oh. Right THAT. He took his palm off Stiles forehead raising it to his own, rubbing his temples wearily. What was wrong with him? A lot. That was rhetorical brain he huffs at himself and rolls his eyes into his hand. A lot, that much was obvious. A familiar coiling and pulling starts thrumming through the veins of his left arm. He looks up curiously from over the hand on his face surprised at the sensation, removing it as he finds his body hadn’t been lying. The black dragging itself up his wrist and into his body is testament to that. What could be causing Stiles physical pain? He’s asleep whatever was in his head shouldn’t manifest itself physically in his body, especially in unconsciousness. That was concern number one on his mind, concern number two made his brow crease: he’d never inadvertently and only rarely ever purposefully taken someone else’s pain as his own.  
Stiles face had lost its pinched strain and as he watched a look of relief washes over it. Almost immediately the boy’s body is devoid of tension. A small sigh escapes from between his lips, his pouty full lips. Peter resists the urge to run his thumb tenderly over them. Stiles turns on his side curling towards Peter unconsciously pulling his arm closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Peter you damaged soul. I love him for his anti hero attitude but I also feel sorry for him, its not entirely his fault that he's like this. He's had some pretty messed up stuff happen to him, poor thing, hopefully I can bring him some happiness ;P.
> 
> The Lyrics in this chapter are from Korn's song lullaby for a sadist. For any of you out their tryig to empathise with a tortured sould I recommend you give their latest album a listen.
> 
> As always thank you for reading my friends a little love is always apprecuated and a lot of love leaves me beaming like an idiot. I'll always try to respond to comments so hit me up. Even if you think it sucks hairy testes haha.
> 
> crash x.


	3. I moustache you to stop.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter might’ve had a tender moment last night but he still gets bored and he definitely resented a few of Stiles song choices. Karma is a cruel mistress after all and Peter was glad to play her hand maiden. 
> 
>  
> 
> or where Stiles attempts to beat Peter in a war of the pranking variety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Thank you all so much for reading and the kudos. Oh I love the Kudos! You're all diamonds.  
> So last chapter was touchy feely but ultimately essential for character development etc so neeeeeerrrrr! Any way this chapter is the beginning of a war of the pranking variety but Stiles will have to be one crafty sod to beat or maniacal satan in a V-Neck. Derek and Scott cameo hilariously in this chpater and start to become a little more prominent. Any who onwards to reading >>>>>>>>>*comical zoomy wooshy sound*

Stiles consciousness slams back into existence at the tell-tale click of a camera phone snapping a picture. He blinks his eyes blearily shutting his open mouth and smacking away the collection of drool pooling in the corner. He groans and focuses his eyes finally seeing the phone and its attached owner barely a foot from his face, by his bed, in his room. He slams an arm out but alas too slow for wolfy reflexes.

  
“Yeah, because that’s not creepy,” Stiles grumbles throwing his arm over his face and huddling further into his blankets. Peter laughs and looks at the image on his phone, priceless. While the image of Stiles mouth gaping open and a veritable lake of drool gathering on his own arm was funny in itself; it was made funnier by the well groomed, marker handlebar moustache Peter had drawn on him while he slept. Peter might’ve had a tender moment last night but he still gets bored and, he definitely resented a few of Stiles song choices. Karma is a cruel mistress after all and Peter was glad to play her hand maiden. He laughs loudly scrolling through his phone and selecting a few contacts before hitting send.

  
   “Ugh, go away!” Stiles protests, the sound muffled under the blanket. Peter grins but is ready to comply until he hears a grumbled “dogs belong outside,” and some unintelligible sleepy complaints. Peters eyes narrow dangerously but glint with dark humour. He sidles up to the boys bed and slides his hands under the mattress. He barks a laugh and quickly lifts one side, the boy and mattress flipping onto the floor. He was still laughing as he jumped out the window listening to the squawk of protest and violent cursing.

  
Stile furiously attempted to disentangle himself from his blankets underneath his mattress prison. He manages to free most of his arms and angrily thrusts the mattress onto its side until it leans precariously against his bed frame. His head pops up scanning the room for the insufferable sleep ruining creeper a look of contemptuous disdain prepared for him. He exhales violently, it figures he wouldn’t still be here, Peter values his life too much. Still grumbling and muttering under his breath he gets up violently kicking any object obstructing his path to the kitchen. This mess would be bettered handled by a caffeinated and Showered Stiles.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Peter loiters outside Stiles room leaning against the side of the house. He smiles to himself as he hears the teen kick something in anger only to swear and hop ungainly for a few feet before falling over himself. Oh, this was soo worth it Peter croons happily to himself in his head. His phone buzzes against his thigh.

 **Nephew buzzkill:**  
              Yeah, that’s not creepy

Peter chuckles and starts tapping, he can just picture Derek’s confused frown. He endeavours one day to be the cause of the inevitable merging of his nephews eyebrows into one entity.

  
 **His reply read:**  
Please, its already your phone background. No need to thank me.  
Almost immediately he receives a reply.

 **Nephew buzzkill:**  
I hate you.

  
Peter laughs and texts him an xx in response. He checks another message that came through.

  
 **My favourite Banshee:**  
Nice strong lines, you’re quite the artist.

Peter was quite proud of his handiwork too, especially as he hears the furious and surprised shriek as Stiles inevitably looked into a reflective surface. Peter pauses head tilted, a second outraged yell comes from within making Peter laugh loudly and lope off hearing what he’d been waiting for.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Stiles rubs his face having braved the obstacle course that is the stairs and inhales the deliciousness that is black coffee. He pities the heathens their creamer and sugar. With his prize safely ensconced in his palms he makes his way up to the bomb site. He flops down into his swivel chair sipping with one hand and checking his phone with the other. He has two messages.

 **Sourwolf:**  
What have I told you about letting strange men in through your window?

  
Stiles smirks into his cup then frowns, wait, how did he know Peter was in his room. He checks the other.

  
 **Great Scott!!:**  
Dude nice moustache.

  
He puts his phone down and his frown becomes more confused. He runs a hand over his upper lip, he wasn’t growing a moustache. He’s pretty sure hes not even capable of growing one. His eyes widen. No, he wouldn’t dare! The realisation hits him, who was he kidding Peter totally would dare. Stiles slams his cup down forcefully ejecting himself from the chair which rolls away. He skids determinedly into the bathroom and shrieks in shock.  
“You sneaky asshatted mother fucker !” He yells after gaping a few seconds.There is a big brown and frankly quite impressive brown handlebar moustache imprinted on his face.He tilts his head to observe it from a different angle, his eyes fall on another mark. Its smaller in comparison but he doesn’t need to get closer to read it. He lets out a roar of indignant rage and scrubs at it, it doesn’t budge. Nope, ’Peter was here’ was still scrawled neatly in what was apparently permanent marker across his jugular.Well he should be thankful his newly acquired facial hair wasn’t as immovable, but he was too distracted by the raucous laughter that was rapidly becoming more distant.  
“Yeah you better run!” Stiles mutters darkly already plotting his retaliation. He eyes himself in the mirror rubbing his chin he looks every bit the stereotypical evil genius, it looks like a visit to the argents is on the cards today.

 

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

 

After a day of awkward encounters questioning his winter apparel on a 90 degree day Stiles comes home, flinging the horrendous scarf on the floor and stomping on it as he rubs his neck. He viciously curses Peter and his “totally hilarious” shenanigans. Yes, even in his mind his sarcasm is scathing. He flops on his bed feeling slightly less murderous than earlier after having visited the Argents. He stretches out, pleasantly surprised to find how relaxed and loose he feels despite having being dumped unceremoniously from his bed only this morning. Usually after having nightmares- he grimaces as he remembers those from the night before- he wakes up tight and anxious; his muscles twisted and sore from trying to gain control of his body, like when he’d been riding shotgun to the Nogitsune. Void Stiles still dominated his dreams and Stiles still fought him vehemently, trying desperately to stop his limbs from their horrendous actions. He physically shakes those disturbing thoughts away grabbing the bag he’d brought in and starts preparing his payback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you laughed as much as I did :P  
> As always leave me some love and a magical fairy will plant more hilarious words into my head which I shall then share with the world! Also it makes me happy haha. The next chapters will be out soon and are beyond hilarious. Not to brag or anything they just are. Don't be afraid to hit me up with a comment.
> 
> Thanks lovelies.  
> Crash x.


	4. The door-bell (of I so don't want to know)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles revenge plot goes horribly- and hilariously- awry, resulting in the sacreligious assault of action figures a truly evil piece of lego and some non-consensual bondage.  
> Yeah in hindsight his revenge could've gone better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a slapstick chapter - arent they all- that is light on the Peter and heavy on the hilarity. For those who are fans of our favourite sexy uncle never fear the next two chapters are all about the god of psychotic v-neck goodness. My apoligies sociopathic.  
> As always I had so much fun writing this so I dont care if you dont like it...lies. Send some love . It makes me happy. Especially since I should be doing homework.

He’s not even in his room to witness the beauty of his revenge on uncle sexy/creepy: he’s dancing around in the shower frenetically shaking his thang to art vs science in all their electronic glory. “Higher and higher and hi-Yah!!” He crows, violently splattering suds everywhere with his exuberant karate chop. He stops comically when hears the tell-tale yelping bark of surprise and violent cursing. Stiles practically falls over himself in his attempt to escape the shower and bear witness to the aftermath and hilarity. He slips on the tiles and skids through the room grabbing a towel as an afterthought and runs out onto the landing. He’s at the top of the stairs dripping wet an expression of victorious glee on his face when he sees his father at the door talking to a very, insanely- eye brow unified - glowering Derek. They’ve both looked up and are staring at him as he thunders onto the scene. Sheriff Stilinski looks between the two of them completely unable to comprehend the situation , raising his hands in defeat he leaves the door open and walks to the kitchen.

Stiles is too concerned with his future longevity to care when his father shouts from the kitchen. “I’m going to eat this bacon and there’s not a damn thing you’re going to do about it!” There’s also some vague mutterings of “fucking supernatural werewolf business, better off not knowing.. I’m so done”, but Stiles is busy trying to co-ordinate running for his life and holding his towel up. He makes into his room before Derek and leans against the locked door, the towel long forgotten. He hears Derek growling on the other side but takes comfort in the knowledge that Derek’s trying to maintain a good relationship with the law, and whilst attempted murder of an annoying teenager is apparently ok, intentional destruction of property is not.  
“So is there any scenario where this doesn’t end in maiming?” Stiles asks none to hopefully. He gets a short snarl in response and a thump as Derek kicks the door.  
“I’m going to take that as a no. Is there at least a scenario where this happens when I’m wearing pants?”He can practically hear Derek roll his eyes. He scuttles from the door hurriedly throwing pants on, managing to trip over him-self only twice. He hears another yelp and almost immediately his door-bell rings.

Sheriff Stilinksi sighs as he gets up to open the door ,he has a mouthful of double bacon burger when he’s met with a very mournful looking Scott. He gives an imperious gesture of enter and walks back to the lounge where he’s watching a game before work.  
Scott curiously trots up the stairs, hearing a loud thumping and various pleas of “ Come on now Derek be reasonable! Ow shit! Be the Human DEREK! BE THE HUMAN! Fuck! No Not Batman! SWEET BABY JESUS! Sacrilege Derek! I take it back you’re an animal! NO RESPECT! …….” It’s curiously quiet for a minute and he hears Stiles whimper. “ I take it back ! I TAKE IT BACK! UNCLE ! UNCLE!”  
Not entirely sure he wants to know Scott cautiously peeks around stiles doorway, sans door, which is propped neatly against the wall unscrewed from the hinges. In the middle of the carnage of thrown action figures, scratched DVDs and burst feather pillows Derek smirks at him, a predatory victorious grin from atop his perch of Stiles prone form.  
Stiles see’s Scott and his eyes widen in a silent begging plea, trying out puppy-dog eyes which only really work when Scott or Isaac do it. Scott laughs and crosses his arms leaning against the wall. He shakes his head as he says “No way dude, that freakin hurt. How hard is it to warn a brother? Seriously it’d take like two seconds: ‘ by the way bro I’ve electrified my window sill, just FYI.’ You’re on your own.” He watches passively, amused as Derek grins and triumphantly continues to hog tie the struggling teens ankles to his wrists ;sitting down hard on him when he struggles too much. Stiles lets out an oomph of air and goes prone as he gives up. Derek pats his butt in reconciliatory manner.  
“ Atta boy Stiles take it like a man.” Stiles just groans and Scott snickers loudly, satisfied with his work Derek nods and joins Scott.  
The pair stand in front of stiles in identical poses of consideration : heads tilted slightly , hands against their chins. Stiles glares at them from his defenceless position trying to wriggle on his stomach his limbs tied in a complicated serious of knots behind him.  
“I hope you’re happy.” Stiles bites out as he accidentally bumps his forehead against a particularly heinous obviously possessed piece of Lego.  
Derek quirks an eyebrow and shrugs, looking to Scott. ” Yeah I’m pretty happy, Scott?”  
Scott grins cheekily and nods “yeah, I think we’re done here”  
Stiles turns his head and squishes half his face against the ground to better give the two wolves before him what he considers to be his death glare of death. Scott laughs again and the two assholes have the nerve, THE AUDACITY to high five one another and walk away. Ass holes!. Ok so in hindsight maybe he should’ve warned them but still it’s not polite to call upon someone unexpectedly and…Wait were they really leaving . Wait! He struggles more violently against his bonds sputtering after them.  
“Wait you’re not just going to leave me here?! Guys? Guys?! GUYS?!!!” He yells an unintelligible curse as he attempts to hulk out of the restraints and is puffing and wheezing when Scott’s head pops into his doorway.  
“Don’t worry dude, I’m sure someone will come rescue you.” He winks and picks up a sheaf of research papers from Stiles desk giving him a pat on his way back past. Stiles listens as he and Derek say goodbye to his father. Oh god they were really gone. How the hell did he manages to get into these situations and who the hell was supposed to rescue him. Stupid adorable Scott winks he grumbles angrily.  
Not five minutes after the wolves have left there’s another chime of the doorbell. Stiles father on his way out fastens his gun belt and frowns in exasperation as he opens the door. He folds his arms a look of unamused expectation on his face. He considers the man on his threshold taking in the musculature and deep v that his son’s wolves seem to have a penchant for and arches an eyebrow. The man smiles politely and extends his hand in greeting .  
“Good evening sir do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?”  
Stilinski rolls his eyes and snorts jerking his thumb into the house “He’s upstairs” before ignoring the mans hand in favour of stepping past him to get to his cruiser and out of this madhouse. Peter waves at him from the threshold still smiling before entering the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Art vs Science is my favourite band and their song Higher is the sort of random eccentric electro nonsense that I can totally picture Stiles boogying to, naked. :P The next two chapters are all about uncle sexy so prepare for the goodness and banter and Derek smashing lamps.  
> thanks lovelies.  
> Crash x.


	5. Monobrow of doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter lives up to his creeper wolf name, thwarts Stiles revenge and is totally going to smother Derek in his sleep .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody (hi doctor nick)  
> You guys rock my ever loving socks :) and this chapter is Peter heavy, as promised! It's his point of view- from his totally non creepy vantage point -of Stiles beatdown by nephew broody beard. Again non compliant restraint and finally some Steter in the next chapter *YERSSSSH* I try not to get carried away with the good stuff *wink wink*- not just yet anyway- but it just makes me and the Peter in my brain very happy :P  
> enjoy.

Around the same time Stiles was visiting the argents, formulating his master plan tat encompasses the uber epicness of ultimate revenge- it was a working title- Peter was wallowing in excruciatingly violent boredom. He was sprawled on his back on the settee in Derek’s loft, his arm over his face.

  
“Derek.” He says and gets no response.

  
“Derek.” His voice slightly rising in volume.

  
“Derek. Derek. Derek! Derek! Derek! DEREK! DER-“ He yells out not changing his relaxed position.

  
“OH MY GOD!! WHAT?!!!!!” Derek roars in frustration. ”I’m literally like 5 metres from you, what do you want?!”

  
“ You should’ve answered me the first time then.” Peter says smirking; he just loves annoying Derek, it helps alleviate his boredom, until Derek has to break something in frustration. That’s usually around the time when Peter slinks out, as a result there are a lot, A LOT of fragments of household items scattered around the doorway near the fire escape. The silence stretches out until Peter hears Derek growl, low and frustrated.

  
“Fucking hell Peter! What? What do you want?”

  
Peter peeks out from under his arm, grinning when he sees Derek rubbing the wolf anger out of his eyes. He shrugs in response “ ooh touchy! Never mind.” He grins again as he hears his nephews clawed fingers scrape dangerously against the desk he’s sitting at.

  
“Peter….” Derek snarls. Peter gages it too dangerous not to respond -he quite likes his face the way it is- (me too grrr baby) so he sighs in resignation and flips over so that he’s facing the younger man.

  
“I know he’s younger than you but he’s always had a commanding presence and now you’re a lowly omega if ...” Peter says looking serious and hesitating for dramatic affect.

  
Derek groans, “spit it out Peter.”

  
There’s a snort of laughter as Peter responds “poor choice of words nephew. I was just curious if you ever played the bottom, yes alpha, please alpha, give me some more alpha. ” Peter mocks snickering. He has already leapt off the coach before he hears the crash of metal as Derek flings his desk out of the way. “Does he wear boxers or briefs? Ooh he probably goes commando!” He mocks and laughs as he slips out the door; a lamp hurtling through the air right at his face. His laugh intensifies as he hears the lamp smash satisfyingly against the door and Derek curse violently but the younger man doesn’t chase him. Peter thinks that he better not try his luck too much longer and lifts the window to jump down the fire escape. He'd use the elevator but being enclosed in a small space with someone whose favourite threat was 'I'll rip your throat out with my teeth' would be stupid, even for someone who spent six years as a vegetable.

  
      He wanders through the streets creepily smiling at people occasionally and snickering when they clutch their purses tighter or gather their children closer. He snorts to himself as a wide eyed woman scurries into a store rather than walk past him, stupid humans he thinks; they’d be so much more evolved if they let their instincts rein. Even though they consciously couldn’t tell anything about Peter except well, that he was damn attractive and smiled a bit too broadly, they subconsciously avoided him, instinctually sensing he was a predator. This was why regular society amused him so much he’d just smile at someone and they’d briefly smile back before becoming confused about why they’d unwitting just taken a step backwards or felt an overwhelming need to cross the street. He was chuckling to himself when he heard the tell tail rumbling and clanking of his least favourite- by which he totally meant favourite- jeep. His smile quickly became even more predatory; a young man in front of him let out an eep and hurried past clutching at his boyfriend. Peter’s day had just gotten so much more interesting. He followed the sounds of Stiles Jeep and the boy singing atrociously to some pop nonsense ' yoh tell me what you want what you really really want!' he listened long enough to realise the boy was heading for home.Peter can take his own sweet time,he's not chasing after a car like a rabid dog, maybe he’d make someone drop their ice-cream? One can only hope.

\-----

  
     Peter was whistling as he jumped the tall fence of a well-manicured yard and crossed the back lawn growling at the yapping pet dog until it whined in submission. Satisfied he kept whistling as he leapt onto the roof and settled there in the shade of the yard large pine tree. He had listened outside briefly before jumping the fence and was sure that no-one was home. Peter stretches a bit before settling on the tin and focuses his attention on the house three backyards away; he can see Stiles rubbing his hands together in glee and hear his maniacal cackling. He rolls his eyes but smiles because it’s just so Stiles. “What is he up to?” he mutters to himself under his breath. The young man is rummaging through a duffle bag on his bed still cackling softly. Peter flushes slightly as the boy snaps on a pair of long intimidating rubber gloves, he swallows but finds that he is unable to look away. His morbid -and more than a little sexual- curiosity is alleviated only slightly when the next objects out of the bag are not lubricant or blunt objects, but rather a metal box wrapped with wire and a tiny circular object which Stiles kisses. Okay so shit’s getting real interesting Peter thinks to himself and settles back for the next hour as Stiles dances around attaches something to the window ledge. Peter laughs as occasionally the boy furiously rubs at his neck and scowls. Stiles leans out his window and Peter catches his scent a swirling of excitement and anticipation and general Stiles-ness. Peter closes his eyes and enjoys the bouquet smiling to him-self. He opens them again to the picture of the teen warily carrying an object over to the sill and holding it as far from himself as possible as he reaches out and taps it against the ledge. There’s a loud zap and sparks then a moment silence as both Stiles and Peter are equally shocked by the results, then as if they’d planned it they’re both hysterically laughing. Stiles is jumping around his room shrieking yes and pumping his fists at the same time Peter is thumping his thigh in jubilation and almost crying with laughter. He’s impressed, the sneaky little bastard! He’s recovering from his hysterics when Stiles leaves the room still cheering himself. Peter wipes his eye and prepares to jump down from his perch.

            No. THIS is too good! He sits back down as he hears his nephew’s car pull up on the other side of the block. Neighbourhood dog’s start up a chorus as the dark figure lopes through their yards cut short by a low snarl; he’s praising the heavens that he’s down-wind so that this moment can remain pure. He’s edged forward onto the edge of the roof leaning towards the scene as Derek enters Stiles yard leaping up to grab the windows edge. Immediately there’s a blinding spark and a surprised girlish yelp as Derek is Shocked and falls to the ground landing on his derriere with a surprised oof. He sits their briefly stunned and shakes his head snarling and cursing viciously as he wipes himself off and stalks around to the front of the house. Peter’s eyes are streaming having almost been ejected from his skull as in his attempts to restrain himself from laughing throughout. He starts inhaling in hysterical gasps once Derek’s entered the house. He calms down enough to growl possessively in his throat as Stiles bare form is revealed to him, the boy’s towel on the floor as he leans against the locked door his pale but surprisingly muscular chest is heaving in exertion and his cheeks are flushed. He hasn’t got nearly enough time to drink him in with his flesh on fire before his attention is drawn elsewhere.

  
“Man you’re like a creepy sexual predator gargoyle, you know that right?” Scott has entered the yard where Peter is perched his heart thundering lightly with exertion, obviously having run. Peter curses himself for being snuck up on but hey his attention was better occupied elsewhere. He’s glad he has presence of mind enough not to flinch and appears to be coolly aloof as he flashes his eyes at Scott smirking.

  
“No, I’m Batman.” He says huskily.

  
Scott guffaws loudly but doesn’t join him on the roof for which Peter is thankful because Stiles is still naked and he really doesn’t want to give Scott any more ammunition to use against him

.“Nice one dude, I think all this time stalking Stiles has rubbed some pop culture off onto you.” Scott laughs not unkindly. Peter still deems it necessary for his reputation to growl at Scott.

“To be fair some of that time I was stalking Lydia and Stiles just happened to be there.” He says defensively but grins devilishly.  
Scott makes a ridiculously human sounding grr and mimes claws at Peter in a gesture so strongly reminiscent of Stiles that Peter almost genuinely smiles.

The young wolf laughs “Yeah whatever helps you sleep at night.” he says before he jumps the next fence and continues to Stiles yard. Peter almost feels bad for not warning him. Almost.

     He concedes a laugh as Scott yelps and brings his attention back to Stiles window. His mouth drops open; the teen is practically presenting himself to Peter, his ass bare in front of him as the boy struggles to get his legs into his pants. He groans unsure if it’s in lust or amused exasperation as the boy falls to his knees again. No it’s definitely lust, as a born wolf he has better control than most and even he is struggling to keep his wolf on a leash; purposefully clenching his fists to keep his claws retracted shutting his eyes forcefully to blink away the red that is wolf vision. Peter is surprised at how much he wants the young man, sure he’d held a fascination and fond affection but now? Now he wanted him and what he wants he gets. But would he for lack of a better word woo him or take him? His contemplation would have to wait because Derek had removed the door with surgical precision and was stalking angrily into the room. Peter laughs hysterically again, Stiles had done what he’d failed to achieve; the glory that is unibrow of constipated fury! His mind is made up, this boy was definitely worthy of some wooing, but he thinks as he smirks in anticipation, the taking would be had as well.

      He wishes he’d bought popcorn as Stiles face goes from fear to horror as Derek approaches not Stiles but his belongings. Derek holds up a stack of DVDS and opens them one at a time, running a claw in a singular precise scratch down each one before throwing them at Stiles feet. The boy was screaming sacrilege as the older man plucked a batman action figure and squeezed it in his fist. Stiles Shrieked like it was being done to him and started calling Derek an Animal. A laugh escapes Peter it was all too hilarious but the look in his nephews eye had him emitting a cautioning growl. Oh god now he was being all sentimental and protective. Shit he really hopes Derek didn’t hear that. He would never live it down. He continues watching as the scene progresses, laughing and occasionally growling as Derek tied Stiles up roughly His rough hands touching altogether too much of Stiles bare skin in peter opinion. He watched as Derek and Scott left the Stilinksi house the younger man handing his nephew some papers. They headed around the back Derek glaring viciously at the window, they jumped the back fence and laughed Scott bumping shoulder with Derek companionably as they walked to his car. Scott stops suddenly and grins, his eyes flashing alpha red as he looks for Peter ; when he finds him he waves furiously. Derek turns when Scott does and growls when he spots his Uncle and barks “Figures!” before he grabs Scott by the arm and drags him on. Peter grins and shoots them his middle finger before he jumps down and makes his way to the door of the Stilinksi house. He smooths his hair down and adjusts his clothes putting on his most winning smile.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --

     Residual frustration and anger had flared in Derek when he spotted his uncle, but really what did he expect Peter was watching over the boy of his **own** volition **and** Derek had an eyes and nose, It’s not like he was paying penance. Peter had marked the boy’s neck, granted it was in permanent marker but his smell had been all over Stiles bed he definitely wasn’t selflessly offering up his skills as a pack babysitter. Derek smirked as his uncle flashed him and Scott the bird with Scott cheerfully returning the gesture as Derek had dragged him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha oh Derek you're so going to get murdered in your sleep. Does he even have a bed? Does he sleep?!
> 
> oh right end of chapter notes.  
> Steter next chapter!! Peter enters the Stilinski home and Stiles finally works up the courage to scream to his dad for help because that mans already been exposed to enough messed up shit and seeing his half naked sound bound up like a bdsm christmas present after having two gentlemen callers? Complete. Mental. Breakdown.  
> Also FYI Stiles is singing spice girls in his car because theres a video of Dylan O'brien (Stiles) before he was famous on youtube lipsyncing it. LIKE A BOSS *bro fist* and I just about wet my pants everytime I watch it.
> 
> Any who leave me some love if you like :P I sure do.
> 
> Thanks lovelies 
> 
> Crash x.


	6. All wrapped up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> STETER!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STETER! Also I'm consideringe changing the rating because eventually I have the feeling my minds going to make this explicit... Funny and awesome and sexily explicit hahah But I'll let you know ;P  
> Thanks everyone whose been reading and commenting and kudos-ing.  
> I love you. :P

Peter looks around the Stilinski home curiously having previously been confined only to Stiles room. He looks at the photos lining the book case in the lounge, picking up an image of the group of friends dressed up on Halloween. He’s smiles affectionately at Lydia and Allison as the good witch and the wicked witch of the west, raising his eyes briefly to where he can hear stiles struggling and occasionally screaming out for his dad. He takes great delight in ignoring him in favour of snooping. He snorts at the memories the images invoke; Stiles and Scott as little red riding hood and the big bad wolf, Peter sees himself lurking behind them with an axe. He fondly shakes his head, poor boy had let Lydia pick his costume. “I’m not having any of this creative interpretation nonsense at my party. You will wear the outfit I picked and, no red hoody.” Stiles had grumbled but after a few drinks happily embraced his frilly dress and hood carrying party favours in his ridiculous wicker basket .He was grinning goofily at the camera twirling his wig while Scott pretended to sneak up on him in his ridiculous rubber mask.  
“Dorks.” He says happily.  
Peter takes his time wandering through the house growing more and more smug with every curse word and struggling groan, the stairs creak as he climbs them. He hears Stiles heart beat rise in happy expectation belying his angry mutter of  
‘Finally, you guys are dead and by dead I mean no more super sleuthing or deductive genius for you! See how long you’re…”  
Peter stands in the doorway to Stiles room and gestures for him to continue. Stiles just about dies from embarrassment and glares reproachfully as the man pulls out his phone and snaps a picture, what were Scott and Derek, amateurs? Really he gloats a he pockets his phone, who doesn’t get photographic evidence. Peter laughs and practically bounces with glee on his way over to Stiles bed. He sits supporting himself on his arms ankles crossed against the floor looking at Stiles closely.  
“By all means continue, don’t let my presence impede whatever punishing ultimatum was about to be delivered…… No.” Peter grins and leans back scrutinising Stiles predicament. He tuts loudly.  
“This is far more interesting a scenario than the one I’d pictured.” He hmms thoughtfully tapping his chin.” I always thought Derek’s tastes would run to the vanilla. Clearly I was mistaken, those knots look well practiced.” He leers at Stiles and lifts his feet onto the bed reclining himself onto Stiles special pillow subtly basking in the boys scent, glad that the rise in his own heartbeat and the excitement thrumming through his veins would remain his secret. He clears his throat looking at Stiles again who is eying him cautiously and looks outraged as Peter fluffs Stiles pillow and makes a point of relaxing into it; a pleased sigh the cherry on top.  
He continues “why does a young man such as yourself need such an array of delightfully sinful restraints?” Stiles looks equal parts shocked, embarrassed and outraged, he opens his mouth to protest but Peter cuts him off. “Don’t answer.” He says winking at Stiles before closing his eyes and basking in his sinful thoughts. ”I’d much rather imagine it for myself. Hmm it seems Derek is my nephew after all.” Peter rolls onto his side to better see Stiles.” Did I ever tell you about the time I was in Amsterdam?  
Stiles groans banging his head repeatedly against his floor.” For the love of all that’s holy PLEASE PLEASE do not finish that sentence!”  
Peter makes a show of looking affronted but basks in satisfaction as he senses the cloud of desire hanging around the boy. He grins and exhales in a huff as he gets up off the bed and rests on his knees beside Stiles. Stiles tenses up unsure what to expect when he feels a tug on one of his knots, probably checking to see if they’re nice and secure so he can take advantage of me he thinks. He curses his body for its reaction, the heated ashamed arousal that colours his cheeks make his skin electric with anticipation. Miraculous he feels the ropes give a little after another sharp tug and exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He turns to look at Peter surprise and confusion on his face.  
“What?” the man says, flashing a claw at him while smiling mischievously. He leans right down until his lips are pressed delicately against Stiles ear. “Afraid I’d take advantage of you ?” He listens to the boys heart rate rise and senses the desire as his words tease him. The air on Stiles sensitive skin sending shivers over his whole body. He’s nervous yes but not really afraid ,Peter smiles the movement playing on Stiles earlobe. “I haven’t cut all the ties yet, we can still have some fun.”  
Stiles almost moans at that but contains himself, his body is in!. Oh it is so down for this, Peter is pulling all the right strings and he’s damn fine. I mean he refers to him as uncle sexy in his head! But hog tied on the floor of his room, after a beat down from the man’s nephew , the broken remnants of his life literally thrown all over the floor – he mentally shakes his fist in the air while cursing Derek’s name- and not to mention a highly uncomfortable boner isn’t the right setting. Hell earlier he’d been plotting with glee electrocuting the man, the shame that still colours his cheeks at his own arousal was enough to tell him that he wasn’t ready for this. If he ever would be he didn’t want it to be something he’d regret later. When he comes out of his musings it’s to Peter laughing.  
“Relax porcelain,” he drawls “ I’m not an animal”  
Stiles frowns at his wording and opens his mouth to question how much Peter had heard before he came in when his bindings were cut in a flash of claw. Peter grabs at the scraps of ropes still attached to stiles wrists and uses them to haul the boy to his feet. However he doesn’t relinquish his grip, instead he holds the boys arms in place flush against his lower back and leans in closer to the boy from behind.  
“Promise me one thing?” Peter says smoothly the hand not holding the ropes caressing the boy’s forearms. Stiles chokes a little as he tries to respond so he chooses to nod instead. Peter smiles compulsively running his face from Stiles neck along his jawline and up to his ear.  
“Never let my nephew touch you like that again.” Peter growls around the boy’s earlobe before seeing the words still marking his neck. He lifts a hand to rub against the permanent marker before thinking fuck it and dragging his stubble deliciously over the pale expanse of throat ; pressing his lips down against the words. His tongue gently bathing the skin in a swirl before pressing down, with his mouth slightly open he sucks savagely at it, his tongue teasing the flesh. Stiles gasps loudly when Peters mouth tongue and teeth taunt his flesh but it’s over almost as soon as it has begun. Peters face is no longer intimately curved against his neck and he feels his hands being relinquished, numbly he brings them in front of himself and rubs at his wrists. He turns to look at Peter aghast with sensation and confusion but before he can a hand snakes around his body from behind. The fingers trickle whisper soft along his arm and press gently over a sore spot on his wrist while the man simultaneously and all too briefly makes his own arousal known to Stiles. Peter presses the length of his body deliberately against the teen, his other hand curling possessively around Stiles hip grinding them closer together before heading to the window.  
Peter kicked the plug out of the device attached to the window before looking at Stiles. The boy was flushed and dazed still staring at his wrists. Peter grins roguishly and ahems politely to get his attention and makes a questioning gesture towards the window. The boy looks up at him cheeks reddening further he’s more than a little flustered and nods numbly. Peter winks at him and lifts the window. He laughs loudly upon realising what the circular device from before had been. He grins into the camera and gives it a salute as he jumps down, chortling as he leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm not sure If I'm going to post the next chapter as peter or stiles after recations or maybe a mixture of both? I like doing both sides :) anyway things may cool off a little in the next chapter or two returning to funny as Peter "woos" Stiles and as Stiles comes to terms with his own feeling . naww feels haha.  
> Thanks Lovelies  
> as always leave me some love and let me know if you want some explicitness if not I'll consider putting it in but not having it integral if people want to skip it -prudes :p- hahah any who.  
> tata  
> Crash x.


	7. NOT BATMAN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles attempts to confront his feelings about sexy pedo wolf but instead ends up crying over batman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while guys ! I was in Vietnam getting hot sweaty and sleep deprived. This is Stiles POV in the aftermath of the oh so sexy neck sucking goodness.

After the incident Stiles POV

Stiles stood there for longer than he was ashamed to admit fighting the urge to collapse in a puddle on the floor. WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT HAD JUST HAPPENED. His body shivers as he relives the memory of Peter’s tongue curling seductively against his lobe and the possessive way he’d grabbed Stiles as he sucked in a desperate manner a far more unexplainable mark on his neck….shit. Stiles slaps a hand against his neck in momentary annoyance, he was surprised though to find- despite the fact he was probably definitely going to die from scarf induced heatstroke tomorrow –that he was smiling.  
“Aaaaah” he groans hand still against his neck as he victoriously manages fall back on his bed without impaling himself on a malformed fallen hero or possessed Lego.  
He grrrs irritably and scrabbles against his bedside table until he finds his phone. He taps away angrily before typing a text to Scott.

 **S:** My dad left before I could summon the courage to inflict lifelong scars on him. I could be DEAD RIGHT NOW!

 **Former Bro:** But r u?

_Stiles doesn’t judge that worth of a reply, he just looks reproachfully at his phone._

 

 **Former Bro** : Did u forget that you electrocuted the shit out of me?

 

_Oh uh , whoops._

 

 **S:** Of course I didn’t! But that was accidental ….I could have starved to death Scott. I could’ve died from exposure!  
  


 **Former Bro:** Ur inside and u have central heating. I told you you’d be rescued didn’t I ;P

 

_Hmmm how did he know that?_

 

 **Former Bro** : obviously I was right unless uv become creepily efficient at texting with ur nose..or have developed a Houdini like ability to escape .. in which case I may sell u to the circus.

 **S:** If I didn’t find your facebook dream updates so amusing I’d totally unfriend you.

 **Former Bro** : Lies Im too adorable :p  
 **Former Bro** : How is your valiant hero by the way lol

 **S:** I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.

 

 **Former Bro** : I have evidence dude he sent me a picture…..BAHAHAH. also He was totally creeping.

 

_Stiles groans further banging his phone against his forehead why? WHY?WHY?!._

 

 **S** : So U left me tied up like a tasty half naked present for uncle creeper to take advantage of me?… worst friend ever.

 

 **Former bro** : Duh! … He didn’t though right?  
 **Former Bro** : Stiles he didn’t though..  
 **Former Bro** : right?  
 **Former Bro** : RIGHT?!  
 **Former Bro** : I’m coming over  
 **Former Bro:** also I have my mums tazer.

 

_Stiles rolls his eyes affectionately groaning at his friend, he may be an asshole but, hes the best kind of asshole._

  
**S:** Cease and Desist ! I’m fine.

 

 **Former Bro:** DUDE don’t do that to me! I felt like a horrible person!

 

 **S:** You are. But I love you anyway.

 

 **Former Bro:** lol so there was no bad touching, thank fuck I honestly didn’t even think about it

 

 **S:** uh,well…

  
.  
 **Former Bro:** No…  
 **Former Bro** : Fucking..  
 **Former** **Bro** : Way!  
 **Former Bro** : Where did he touch you?

 

 **S** : Ugh, dude I’m fine. It’s fine. It’s all fine. Please god don’t get out your therapist doll.

 

I _n a fit of human compassion he’d brought it to try and get Isaac to talk about his feelings and trauma which resulted in a headless doll and a ‘ Dude I was locked in a freezer not molested’ but it had ended in some unnaturally long hugs and bro back thumping. Scott’s the cutest._

 

 **Former Bro** :…so good touching then? ;P

 

 **S:** I hate you… maybe?

 

 **Former Bro:** I’m torn between nice and gross

 

 **S:** You and me both brother.

 

 **Former Bro:** I’m going to decide if I want you to give me details tomorrow.

 

 **S:** I may have repressed it by then.

 

 **Former Bro** : Ha-ha write it in you diary :p Night don’t let the creeperwolf bite, or you know do. If ur into that.

 

 **S:** Fuck you man, it’s a journal. Also, I resent that, kind of. Night, don’t let the fleas bite.

 

He smiles and reluctantly changes Scott's contact name back to Brofriend.

Stiles heart is thumping in his chest and he runs a hand through his hair analysing the implications of everything that has just happened. He never in a million years would’ve expected something like this, especially his own reaction, which he’d only really considered when he alluded to the whole thing not being of the bad touch variety. Since when did his brain think any sort of inappropriate Uncle touching as okay? His body he can understand, he is afterall a horny ball of teenage hormones 97% of the time .He exhales a groan, sure he flirts with Peter but he does that with everyone and most of them, like Derek, take it as inane babbling or sarcasm- and often in Derek’s case it is just that- obviously Stiles was in for a night staring at his roof in contemplation. Hey ! At least it isn’t considering how best to avoid being murdered by whatever nasty is chasing us this week, or is it?! Shit. He’s 70 percent sure Peter won’t murder him. It’s the 30 percent of well-founded homicide induced doubt that should keep him awake but instead- because he’s still a hormonal teenager- he spends hours dwelling on how good it had felt to have the man’s hands running over his body.

He jolts upright in bed exhaling sharply and trying to distract himself; which is actually easier than planned as he surveys the mess that is his childhood/nerdism scattered on the floor. He curses Derek’s name and promises to eat his first born child as he angrily inspects his dvd collection of Sailor Moon before making his way over to his Ipod dock and cranking up his jams. “Stupid bossy wolves” he mutters, unconsciously touching his neck lightly and shivering before tramping on something horrendously painful and sending the discs flying. He directs a glare at the offending object only to collapse on his knees with a whimper. Not his limited edition Dark Knight Batman action figure!! Nooooo! He cradles the disfigured fallen soldier to his chest and un-ashamedly lets out a sob which becomes worse as he sees bumblebee broken body to his other side. He barely resists the urge to scream at the heavens in a stereotypically dramatic way and that’s mostly because he’s pretty sure he’s being watched and he’d never live it down.  
Needless to say the playlist he created that night was as confused and scattered as his emotions ranging from Psycho killer and Evil walks– at which Peter grinned – to a touch too much and love gun- at which Peter grinned even wider- to.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me love if you like it and I'll post Peter's POV way sooner ;P
> 
> Thanks lovelies  
> Crash x.  
> I have a Tumblr also but am thinking about making one just for fan fic goodness . Should I?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ripping throats out may be life affirming and cathartic but lust, lust is living.
> 
> Loving threats of asphyxiation and musings on how best to commit murder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all you amazing mother flippin people!  
> This is Peter's POV after the neck suck of sexy.  
> allusions to triple homicides, blackmail,asphyxiation..all in a joking way but ye be warned. ENJOY!!!

Peter’s shaking his head in bemusement, the prank itself was amusing in a juvenile way but the true joke was the humiliation of having evidence of the event to punish them- would’ve been him- with over and over. He snorts happily, he is definitely rubbing off on Stiles, (hehehe rubbing off) the entendre in his head just makes him laugh louder. Once he’s overcome his amusement the residual lust of his encounter has him feeling more alive than he has in years. Ripping peoples’ throats out was life affirming but this, this is living.  
He bounds up onto the roof above Stiles room, positively buoyant with jubilation. He’ll wear Stiles down until he’s begging to be with Peter, he positively shivers with antici---pation. With his legs dangling off the roof he lies back, his arms cushioning his head. Now he considers, how best to win fair maidens heart? He’s been spending time studying up on his pop-culture whenever Derek’s out the loft and by studying he means binge watching tv shows on netflix and devouring movies. He’s already a few points ahead by being a supernatural creature who lurks outside people’s houses and watches them sleep, Twilight had taught him this. If he’d been human he’d just be perceived as being really creepy or psychotic- well more psychotic. He knows enough to assume that standing outside Stiles room with a boom-box is probably too passe’ but.. he grins as he hears Stiles put on his music. Oh that is so much better than a mix tape! Stiles you are his muse . Still grinning he compiles a list of possibly suitable songs in his head. The boy’s noisily and grumpily stomping around his room ,cursing Derek and probably comically shaking his fist in the air as he cleans up the mess. Peter hears him choke out a gasp and fall to his knees on the floor. Worried Peter dangles himself over the edge to look in the window, and snorts. Stiles is cradling his action figurine batman against his chest and almost sobbing as he reaches for his bumblebee original Hasbro transformer that - thank you very much Derek- will NEVER transform again! He balefully looks to the window where he must’ve heard Peter snort in amusement but he’s already hoisted himself up again. After another 20 minutes of mournful emotions wafting around him Peter sighs. He swears being around all these teenagers is turning him hormonal and touchy feely. He pulls out his phone and types a message to his nephew.

P: Derek you WILL buy that boy another batman toy, he’s been sulking for hours.  
Nephew Buzzkill: And..  
P: If you don’t, I promise I’ll smother you in your sleep.  
Nephew Buzzkill: ?!  
Nephew Buzzkil: Just so theres no confusion. My radio silence from this point on is not indicative of my death, or kidnapping ..(probably).  
Nephew Buzzkil: I’m just ignoring you.  
Nephew Buzzkil: Starting now.  
P: Because that’s mature.  
P: Derek?  
P: Derek?! Don’t make me use capitals!  
P: What if I'm dying or being kidnapped Derek?  
P: Huh smart guy?  
P: That’s what I thought.

 

Stiles: Ok so I’m not going to ask but Derek told me 2 tell u that a.)No one cares b.) Stiles would probably notice…. There’s not an emoticon for disgusted winky face, right? Uh, insert your approximation here.

Stiles: Don’t shoot or otherwise brutally maim the messenger .

Uncle Sexy: You’re lucky you're cute.  
Stiles: I don’t know how receptive Derek will be 2 tht  
Stiles hastily types’ I Kid I kid’ as he hears the anamused snarl from above. He’s ashamed to admit he’s blushing a bit though.

To nephew Buzzkill-  
P: I rue the day/ month Erica spent teaching you to text....

Stiles stays awake for hours longer than he usually does, Peter hears him huffing in frustration as he rolls onto his side, rather violently trying to get comfortable. Every now and then he snickers at his song choices, other times his heart thumps unevenly as if anxious about how Peter will interpret the subtle and often not so subtle Nuance of the music and lyrics. It’s only after Peter texts him when Contact High is playing that he finally gets to sleep. Peter taps out his message and smiles when he hears the excited thrumming of Stiles heart and the amused exhalation he makes after reading it.

Uncle Sexy- This is one of my favourites. Now go to sleep before I come in and asphyxiate you. X

Peter positively beams when he hears the young man softly say in an amused tone " Sweet dreams to you too." Before his breathing transforms into the steadier, deeper rythm of sleep.

Peter spends an hour or two more upon the roof musing about the best ways to commit a triple homicide and have it look like an accident and what sort of wine would go best with curly fries before he enters Stiles domain. He slips soundlessly into the room in a much practised move that would have scores of serial killers, stalkers and general ne’er-do-wells seething with jealousy. Momentarily Peter imagines Stiles trying to perform the same feat. He chortles, Stiles would literally make the least stealthy criminal in existence. He’d almost assuredly be singing the pink panther or mission impossible theme, before most likely managing to flail himself into falling backwards out the window. Peter rewards himself with a smug smile – he can’t help being so superior- and snorts in amusement as he takes in the sleeping teen. Stiles is lying on his side phone protectively ensconced in his hand pressed up tenderly against his cheek as if he’d been nuzzling it and to Peters mirth a hand down his pants. Peter shakes his head grinning but alas he’s been diverted. He sighs and stretches his hands out in front of himself, cracking his knuckles. He takes a last fleeting look at the teen snuffling softly as he snuggles deeper into his pillow before he sets himself to work at Stiles desk.  
He’s been watching the boy so much he knows altogether too much about the his habits and mannerisms: he knows when he goes to the bathroom , how long for , what his favourite songs are to shower to, study to, err attend to himself to, he knows how he takes his coffee and what his favourite socks are..he could literally keep going all day . Stiles is an endlessly intriguing stalkee, his laptop password though is beyond predictable, if not as high on the scale of predictable and stereotypically dull as Scott’s. He taps the keyboard resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he types Batman_rox and hits enter. He shoots a surreptitious glance towards Stiles but is confident in the knowledge that the boy won’t wake, he can sense his steady breathing and the delta waves of deep sleep. He basks in self-satisfaction correlating his deeper interjection into Stiles life with the boy having less nightmare encumbered sleep. AHA! Pay dirt! Peter grins devilishly as he brings up the folder on Stiles computer: wireless window cam of infinite eat shit Peter hale revenge. Smirking he rolls his eyes and sends the incriminating video to himself via email. He daren’t watch it at the moment but he figures he has some time to kill so he gets down to the woo-ing and adds some fittingly flirtatious tunes to the teen’s playlist. He spins the chair flipping his phone triumphantly in his hands , he relaxes and just observes Stiles in his slumber. He hears Derek call him creeper in his head and Scott call him pedo-wolf but he didn’t spend 6 years in a catatonic stupor to pander to societys norms, fuck that. He’s Peter fucking Hale bitches like he gives a shit what society thinks.

Peter is pensive as he considers how best to use this video to his advantage. Hmmm when in doubt go all out, blackmail and subterfuge are always effective tools in manipulation and Derek’s too thick skulled to respond to anything but direct threats.

To Nephew Buzzkill:  
Please find attached one highly humiliating emasculating video of you getting owned by a windowsill. Said video will be going all kinds of viral unless an appropriate replacement for batman is delivered by 10 am this morning. I trust you’ll do what’s in your best interest, keep in mind that smothering you in your sleep is still on the table.  
With Love  
Uncle Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I freaking LOVE Peter...also Ian bohen . but Peter makes my inner crazy very happy haha.  
> If you havent already you NEED to add ian on instagram and facebook and watch thre video of him with the snake...its so adorable . His exasperated OH MY GOD! teheheh. also the picture of him in red suspenders...that should be illegal :P  
> Thanks for Reading !!!!  
> xx  
> Crash.x  
> Leave me love bitches :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles doesn't enjoy Peters Playlist...not one bit, he certainly doesnt sing tainted love while foraging for breakfast and caffienation while playing Schroedingers cat with mystery offerings.
> 
> or where Peter continues wooing the shit out of Stiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all you sexy mother flippin mofo's!  
> I'm mature I swear! So I have three chapters almost ready to go which is beyond exciting because it means my thoughts are so consumed by the story that I dream of Peter and Stiles which let me tell you makes for some entertaining night time awesomeness. Thanks for the love guys :) Enjoy!

Stiles must’ve eventually fallen asleep because he blinks himself awake with a smile on his face and a hand inside his boxers in a typically male way. He yawns and goes to stretch but is immediately frozen as he hears the tune of 'Little Red Riding Hood boy you sure are looking good' which was most definitely not on his playlist. He snaps his head around, his heart beating faster expecting to find Peter leaning against the window smirking at him and feels a sharp pang of disappointment when there’s no imposing smug figure blocking the morning light. Stiles definitely won’t analyse that disappointment later, nope, nup, nooo, no way. He sniffs irritably and slumps back into his pillow. Hold the phone! He sniffs again his eyes closed. HO mumma gimme gimme gimme gimme he choruses in his head as he takes in the delicious aroma of coffee. Oh caffeine oh the caffeinating coffee goodness! Man even Derek would have a chance of scoring with him if he was a Barista, Stiles snickers at the thought. Derek, a Barista! Yeah right! The mundane normalcy of the situation almost has Stiles in hysterics as he reaches for the cup of coffee he’s located on his bedside table. He eyes it suspiciously tilting his head to inspect it from a few different angles. Satisfied that it’s not booby-trapped he grabs it greedily and sniffs it instead, before frowning , there’s still that 30 percent doubt in his mind of Peters capacity of heinous murder… Stiles weighs up his options: on one hand potential poisoning probably resulting in death, on the other caffeine. Playing the proverbial Schrodinger’s cat he decides that being an un-caffeinated alive cat is 100 percent worse than being a caffeinated 50% undead cat hybrid thing.In other words: Coffee, WORTH IT. He takes a gulp almost burning him-self but makes a pleased and surprised noise. How did Peter know how he took his coffee? Because it was obviously Peter. 

The gesture was oddly touching if you know, you didn’t consider that there was a middle aged man in his house Edward Cullen-ing him in his sleep and using his kitchen.. Almost everyone puts sugar in Stiles coffee after making faces of varying degrees of disgust as he tells them he likes it black, as such he chooses to ignore the creepiness and embrace the thoughtfulness. Because honestly when does Peter ever do anything for anyone else? Ok, so maybe he’s expecting Stiles to put out, but come on why go to all the effort? He can’t think that much of me. Stiles frowns at himself then sighs. He prods at his stomach experimentally and sighs again, this time happily at the lack of convulsing spasms of impending coffee induced death.  
Caffienated and 100% alive the Stiles in it’s natural habitat goes foraging for sustenance..and more caffeine. Stiles has mastered the art of multitasking as he simultaneously stomps down the stairs yawns and scratches his butt through his maroon sweatpants while humming Tainted Love as he listens to the notes flowing down from his laptop. He's definitely not pleased by Peters choice of music. Nope not at all. He's only leaving it on so he can mock it and not because it gives him a weird awesome fluttery feeling.He looks curiously at the door at the sound that seems supisciously like someone kicking it agressivelys. Generally everyone he knows just barges in or uses his window, everyone else usually never passes up the chance to play the doorbell which chimes an amusing rendition of Mexican hatdance. There’s only one person who refuses outright to push the doorbell -on the grounds that song is “Fucking annoying” but Stiles knows it’s all just front because total badass leather wearing dudes don’t hum hat dance under their breath while drifting their badass Camaro’s- and whom is otherwise newly disinclined to use his window. Stiles grins gleefully before chastising himself with the reminder that he’s supposed to be mad at Derek. He puts on his stern face and stomps down the stairs aware that Derek can hear him. He takes a deep breath and swings the door open crossing his arms in preparation. He almost immediately loses his facade and uncrosses his arms because a hunched and spitefully morose Derek is thrusting a ridiculously neatly wrapped parcel against his chest. Stiles only just has time to catch it before it hits the ground as Derek has already turned on his heel and started stalking away . Stiles looks from the bright purple present with the green ribbon to Dereks leather clad retreating back feeling way too confused to function. As if sensing his stare Derek turns and glares levelly at him . " I hope you two will be very happy together" he spits out dejectedly. Which just has Stiles even more confused. He watches Derek as he trudges away not the least bit suprised when his fist pounds irrepairable damage into the Stilinksi letterbox nor when his garbage can gets kicked across the street narrowly avoiding a neighbourhood cat. Stiles snorts in amusement shaking his head as he kicks the door shut eyes drawn to the parcel in his hands. His amusement crests as he tries to imagine Derek wrapping the present neatly, using his claws to create the immaculate ribbon curls. Seriously he feels like him dying of laughter is a more probable statistic than Derek Hale angrily wrapping a present with love and care.

Stiles throws himself into the couch and brings the present to his ear rattling it experimentally. He feels safe that Derek wouldn't be that pissed off if he was handing him something that was booby trapped he'd be far more suspicious if the man had been smiling. Derek smiling is positively shudder inducingly the most disturbing thing Stiles can think of ..and he's got Peter stalking him. He tears into the paper with glee, taking joy in destroying Dereks handiwork..after taking a picture obviously. He chokes and doesn't stop himself from sliding bonelessly off the sofa.He looks at and touches the box in total reverence. Letting out a soft exhalation that sounds a lot like No way. His phone vibrates inside the pocket of his maroon tracksuit and he distractedly fishes for it not taking his eyes off the box that contained his new favourite thing. In the world. MINT CONDITION limited edition Batman come the fuck at me. Stiles allows his attention to momentarily be diverted fro his cherished present to read the message flashing on his screen.

Uncle Sexy: You're Welcome.

Stiles give the message a genuine no holds barred completely unreserved smile of affection before leaning happily againt the sofa cushion and bringing batman to his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TA-DAAAAH  
> If you enjoyed it leave me love ;p I'll bathe in it.  
> Crash x.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little random chapter that will happen occasionally. Lets just call it a day or two later when Stiles goes back to school oh and a little Derek Tidbit at the start just for funsies and also half of one chapter because it was too short :p
> 
> or where Stiles actually attends school comes home and peter is all creeping and up in his personal man space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey alll you fabulous mother flippers!
> 
> So this is another random chapter that came from all sorts of random sources of inspiration. Meaning It's full of random shit.  
> haha :) Hopefully its entertaining and the fact that there is no plot just eventual end game sexy buttsex...eventual heh heh heh as always enjoy and let me know if theres anything else that you want me to write about or mention. I'm open to suggestions ;p

\-----Derek-----

Derek can hear Stiles singing away as he grumpilyy progresses towards the Stilinski home kicking his feet along the pavement. Derek doesn't do ultimatums or blackmail, except when the alternative is humiliation. Death be damned,being laughed at is so much worse. Derek groans as he recognises the tune, Tainted Love really?! Ugh that's. ..beyond disturbing. He's aware he looks ridiculously petulant but he reserves the right to sulk as he scuffs down the path to the boys door. He kicks at the cheerful hideous lawn gnome with its insipid welcome sign, grinning in satisfaction as it shatters on impact, then he remembers what he's here for and hunches his shoulders morosely as he approaches the door and kicks it to get the occupants attention- because there is no effing way he's going around with Mexican hat dance stuck in his head all day again-.  
He thrusts the immaculately wrapped package into Stiles chest until he grasps it then turns on his heel after some mild property damage later he hears Stiles start singing Everything is Awesome!

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stiles had made a habit of walking past the school trophy case to give himself a bit of an ego boost, every day, yep guys that’s me in there ! Bilinski King of Lacrosse ! Bow down suckers- and on this particular occasion he happened to catch a glimpse of something other than his own glory .He does a ridiculously comical double take and practically smushes his face against the glass. Peter Hale, a team sports participant and hero. SHIT MY BALLS! No way! He wipes away his breath fogged against the glass and laughs then thinks: Derek and Peter had made allusions to being at school at around the same time hadn’t they ? He laughs harder as he tries to picture Peter playing sports “ I say, what a robust group of young fellows what colour are we rooting for”- in other words in his mind Peter doesn’t do sports. He probably does creepily lurking around high school boys locker-rooms enforcing some twisted sort of age ambiguity. The sort of I’m a werewolf we don’t do human years. Stiles can’t even imagine him not wearing a V-neck. That was probably one of Peter’s requirements for life, no V-Neck no dice. was just a creeper Stiles pictures Derek and Peter in the same class in high school Mighty Boosh style. The other kids in class groaning “uh Derek why’d you bring your dad to class?” and Peter leaping out of his seat screaming “WE’RE THE SAME AGE!” He’s always so touchy about his age and the O word being thrown about.  
He mentally makes a note to ask Peter how old he is , if or when there’s an emotionally agreeable atmosphere where the question won’t result in him getting his throat ripped out. Also even though he’s not 17 anymore he should probably know how old the man is who is forcing him to dress like a ridiculously Isaac cliché’. Stiles angrily adjusts the scarf around his neck hiding the still stubbornly permanent marker and the deliciously sinful embarrassing hickey that accompanies it.  
\---  
Stiles comes home from school and carelessly throws his back pack behind the door and is in the process of struggling out of his pants, because after school time is a pants free zone. Pants are the devil! He gapes open-mouthed at the site that befalls him as he stumbles, pants around his ankles into his room. Peter is sprawled face down on his bed cuddling Stiles favourite pillow. Stiles is torn between indignant sputtering and snorting in amusement, resulting in an outraged choke laughing noise. Peter lazily lifts an arm to flip him off before rolling his head away from the boy and burrowing his face deeper into the pillow and breathing deeply. He makes a sleepy protestation as Stiles makes another strangled noise.

“So what, I’m gone for a day and you come here and what? Touch my stuff and roll around in my bed? This is my man space time!” Stiles says with hands on his hips, completely unaware of the ridiculousness of the posture as his pants are still around his ankles. Pants around ankles and authoritative hands on hips only go together in very specific circumstances and this isn’t accomplished when one of the members is fully clothed and mostly asleep…well usually isn’t.

“Smells good.” Peter murmurs into the pillow just loud enough to hear emphasing his point by nuzzling into it

Stiles mouth drops open and works soundlessly as his eyes narrow and widen with the variety of emotions that evoked. He’s embarrassed and weirded out by how pleased that makes him as well as feeling simultaneously disgusted, resigned and curious. He settles with a non committal non confrontational response. “ If you say so man.” Stiles says wearing a curiously amused expression on his face. Peter makes a pleased and agreeing noise in response and adjusts his position on the bed spreading his legs further apart . Stiles throws his hands in the air in exasperation almost falling as he tangles his feet his pants pooled on the ground. He covers his eyes trying to will himself not to look and failing as he peeks at the glorious muscle rounded peaks of the scandalously denim clad ass. Stiles moans pleading “Can you not buy bigger pants!” His hand still over his face but he glances through his fingers just as Peter teasingly wiggles himself against Stiles bed.

“ ughhhh, you’re the worst!” Stiles groans only realising that he’s standing in his underwear when his dick twitches in attention. He looks down and shrugs before kicking his pants off; triumphantly not falling and breaking himself.

He shoots a glance at Peter as he makes himself comfortable in his desk chair smiling secretly to himself and shaking his head. He loads up game and proceeds in the hapless slaughter of pansy ass campers and noobs suprising himself in his lack of vocality, wow he’s actually being considerate of Peter. That’s new. An hour later he yawns happily satisfied in the knowledge that a bunch of ten year olds now have a new found respect for their elders. He stretches out his arms above his head his bare legs splayed and spins the chair to flop face first on his bed. Right. This guy.  
\-------  
+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally two random tidbits but it was too short so I added half of one chapter to it haha  
> leave me some love beautifuls.
> 
> Crash x.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles and Peter end up in bed together?!did someone order pizza..with extra sausage :p

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They keep commandeering any semblance of a plot and setting it on fire whilst dancing around it singing glam rock songs... lovable bastards.

Stiles cautiously hops off the chair and attempts to stealthily approach the bed. Peter hasn’t moved at all, he lets out a breath of relief as the man doesn’t stir. Feeling confident in his freaking amazing ninja skills- I mean he snuck up on a sleeping werewolf ! Clearly he’s batman- he leans over the bed tilting his head curiously, trying to observe Peter’s face, wanting to see if the sass is present even in unconsciousness. He reaches out to move Peter’s wrist away from where it’s leaning against the man’s face, obscuring Stiles view. Stiles feels like he’s playing Jenga and that perhaps Scott was being overly cautious when he told Stiles to let sleeping werewolves lie. He’s barely an inch from touching the disturbingly attractive forearm -I mean really, who has attractive forearms?! - when said attractive forearm shoots towards him blindingly fast and grabs him. Stiles yelps loudly as he’s grabbed and half a second later is entirely disorientedly confused as to how he came to be nestled in the arms of a predatory sociopath. He freezes, firmly ensconced in the werewolves arms and pulled tight against that distractingly attractive chest. He gives a minute experimental wiggle, trying to find a means of escape. As he feared the arms close tighter around him, he breathes out in frustration and feels an amused huff against the back of neck indicating Peter’s amusement. Stiles attempts to jab him in the chest with his elbow.  
“Asshole. “ He mutters “ You’re like some disturbing werewolf honey trap.”  
Peter rumbles out a laugh, his voice rough with sleep. “ I think you mean fly trap, unless you’re purposefully comparing me to an attractive person of questionable morals, using their body and attractive wiles to lure unsuspecting victims.. in which case I applaud your analogy as well as your taste.”  
Stiles smiles but pretends to give an unimpressed groan. He resigns himself to remaining in the wolf’s clutches; he’s shown him no inclination towards grievous bodily harm – so far-. Stiles isn’t stupid though- if he was Peter wouldn’t respect him- he doesn’t stop being tense or warily guarded, just less afraid of the designs Peter has on his virtue…or his dick. Stiles shudders pleasantly and Peter gives a pleased hmmm as the boy ceases his struggles. He relinquishes his grip slightly, folding himself comfortably over the slighter body, an arm under the boys head, an arm draped over his chest and a leg thrown over Stiles own, forcing them apart. Peters sharp intake of breath is a loud hiss through his teeth, he runs a hand down the boys side to the v’s of his hips confirming his suspicions. Stiles gulps nervously as the older man’s thumb caresses his hip firmly after hissing in surprise.  
The hiss turns to an aroused growl as Peter pulls the teen’s backside firmly against him, increasing the pressure of his grip on the boy’s hip as he does so.  
“Stiles,” Peter croons against the boy’s ear, voice seductive and rough with sleep and other less innocuous things. “Why are you not wearing pants?”  
Stiles jolts and looks down at himself and at the incriminating bulge in his marvel boxer briefs. “Uh..shit.” he mutters as he licks his lips nervously unsure as to whether he wants to push himself back into Peter’s crotch or forwards until the man’s fingers dig sharply into his hips.  
“Pants are the devil?” He says weakly staying ridiculously still trying not to let his body betray him or invoke any sort of predatory response from man pressed firmly against him breathing hotly in his ear.  
Peter chuckles throatily the air stirring into Stiles ear and making him squirm as it sends delicious shivers over his body and into his groin.  
“Indeed.” Peter agrees lecherously rolling his body in a slow grind against Stiles his thumb hooking under the waistband of the teen’s ridiculous underwear.  
Stiles unwittingly gives a desperate moan, Peter rumbles in response the vibrations sending delicious chills down the boys neck shuddering down his body. His mouth gapes open as Peters breath becomes hot and wet against his ear, the tongue that curls around his lobe definitely should not feel so good or like it has a direct line to the throbbing achingly hard member trapped against his stomach. Stiles tries to focus instead on how many still beating hearts Peter has probably torn from bloodied bodies and pressed to the lips that are softly caressing his neck and ear and huffing growls into his skin. Stiles is immediately disturbed at how un-repugnant his body apparently finds that thought as he keens and grinds back against Peter. Blood thirsty heart eating predators are apparently a kink of his.  
The man groans, his thumb playing closer to the dusting of hairs pooling in Stiles lower abdomen. Peter groans again this time in a decidedly disappointed fashion as he removes his hand from Stiles hip simultaneously rolling away and onto his back. Stiles chokes out a “hey! “Of outrage and flails an arm towards Peter to attempt to grab him back, not entirely aware that this active seeking of contact is breaking some sort of boundary within himself. Peter rolls off the bed,his feet touching the floor and stretches his arms towards the ceiling grunting as he pushes himself up into a standing position.  
“ Um..excuse you!” Stiles says from his splayed position on the bed gesturing to his nether situation emphatically when Peter looks over his shoulder at him. “ Are you going to do something about this?”  
Peter snorts and tugs his v-neck over his head and throws it at Stiles open mouthed face.  
“Not unless you want your father to hear you moan my name .” He winks at Stiles .“Repeatedly.”  
He starts walking to the door that opens into the hall “ but if your kinks tend towards the voyeuristic then you’re welcome to join me for a shower.”  
He walks off before Stiles can respond, which Stiles is thankful for because he ashamedly stares open mouthed at the door for longer than he cares to admit before he retaliates with a sarcastic   
“SURE! Make yourself at home!..asshole.” He hears Peter laugh and the shower start.  
He hears a door shut and slowly sits up in his bed bemused.  
“ Stiles?”  
“Here dad!” He calls down through his open door.  
He musses his hair as he hears his father trudge up the stairs. He looks up at the weary figure in his doorway who is looking quizzically from the hall bathroom to where Stiles is pants-less and clutching a grey v-neck. Stiles follows his Dads obvious train of thought and makes a noise that typically goes with a slapstick stooge like collar loosening and Promptly throws the v-nec k away onto the floor, whilst coughing manly to cover the embarrassing and incriminating noise. His father crosses his arms and raises a meaning full eyebrow at him. Stiles is profoundly thankful that he is no longer obviously straining against the confines of his underwear. He squints slightly as he says.  
“Uh.. Dirty werewolf , bloody..you know supernatural woo woo stuff. Vagabondesque no hotwater thing… uh..yeah”  
The sheriff looks entirely unconvinced. “Uh-huh…I’m sure the truth is profoundly more disturbing , so lets just pretend I believe you.”  
“ Sounds good.”  
“So , Pizza?”  
Stiles starts to make a noise of protest but sheriff Stilinski looks pointedly at the discarded shirt and back at his son. Stiles sighs in defeat .  
“Pepperoni.”  
The sherrif smiles and nods, satisfied.  
“Meatlovers , extra sausage!” A voice rings from the bathroom.  
Stilinski raises his eyebrows again.  
Stiles groans and buries his head in his hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leaveme some love you beautiful creatures. I'm thinking about theriff being like the angry black cn in 21 jump street eating his pizza and eyeing the two across from him supiciously.. " Arw you two fucking ?" hahahhaah we'll see


	12. It's OOON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically a filler chapter with some amusing musings.  
> Stiles and Sherriff Stilinski POVs.  
> Peter eventually emerges from the shower after getting up to some admittedly unsavoury shenanigans.  
> Werewolves are stupidly unsubtle and the Sherriff becomes suspicious of Stiles scarves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank's being being fabulous mofo's and reading and slathering my ego in Kudos you're all pretty awesome.  
> Tally ho then what what..  
> hahah what what oh archer you magnificent beast.

“Right.” The Sheriff says eyeing his son who is peeking at him from between his fingers before wearily sighing and trudging back down the stairs and no doubt ordering something with extra cheese for his trouble.

Stiles groans into his hands again and rubs them over his face, attempting to psych himself up for what was undoubtedly going to be a disaster of epic proportions. He picks up his pants and kicks Peter’s shirt angrily for good measure only to have it get stuck over his foot and end up flailing on one leg trying to dislodge it. He almost succeeds when he hears something that has him losing his balance entirely and falling to the floor. He hesitates before army crawling to his doorway and pausing with his head tilted. The shower water is still creating a steady lyrical rush . Stupid fucking sexy werewolf. There was more than enough time for him to make with the scarcity and exit stage left out of the window but noooo. This is probably all part of his evil plan. One of his evil plans, Stiles is adamant that there’s at least one, because well.. Peter. He’s put himself in a situation where Stiles is basically forced to introduce him to his father.. To WHAT END?! Stiles shrieks in his head theatrically. He sniggers at his daydream and is promptly distracted by another clearly sexual emission of noise from his bathroom , YOU EVIL SON OF A BITCH! He’s so flustered he can’t even recognise his own punny-ness. Peter ..in his shower…all kinds of wet and naked and skin and glistening pecs and oh the self-pleasure…FUCK.

“It’s OOON!Oh it’s so ON!! “HE yells, scrambling to his feet and almost braining himself on his doorknob. He hears a muffled laugh and a ‘bring it.’ He can practically see Peter in a Kung Fu pose gesturing stereotypically with an outstretched palm..naked. naked naked. GOD DAMNIT! Stiles slaps himself in the head twice and glares in the general direction of the bathroom .  
“Asshole.” He mutters darkly, grrrr-ing under his breath when he hears the answering gleeful cackle. “That is so unsanitary.” He grumbles, though his complaint is only really with the teasing and sexual torture. Honestly he’s kind of glad Peter’s doing it in the shower and not secretly spraying his bodily fluids around the house in some sort of messed up wolfy scent marking crap. Stiles honestly wouldn’t put it past the bastard to rub himself and his…secretions.. all over Stiles clothes and have him unwittingly wear his “scent”. Yeah he’s definitely washing all his clothes tomorrow. Just in case. He’s not advertising any wolfy claims unless they’ve earned it. He grins thinking about how he lets Scott not so subtly hug for more than is strictly bromantically viable. Oh Scotty you so oblivious. Scott is allowed to scent mark him because well he’s Scott and they’re Scott and Stiles. Derek practically forces it on him, shoving against walls and generally unyielding surfaces. Stiles shakes his head amused, Derek, also not so great on the subtlety ; thinking that Stiles rationalises it as an act of broody brow induced physical manifestation of aggression. Peter was going to have to work for it, Stiles could be an evil mastermind too just you wait Peter. Just you wait. He forgoes the maniacal cackling instead steepling his fingers evilly. He looks up to see Peter in his doorway a curious quizzical expression on his face. Stiles grins at him evilly maintaining eye contact as he passes through the door to join his father down stairs, he turns his back on the half-naked glistening man flesh.

Peter coughs amusedly to get his attention. Stiles huffs in irritation and swings around to face him arms on his hips. Peter points to the boys lower half “Pants?” He says.  
Stiles flushes furiously and stalks into his room to where he’d absentmindedly dropped them onto the floor. He spots Peters shirt on the ground near the and acting on impulses stomps to the window and throws it out. He glares at the man who is still looking way too amused about this and stomps out of the room.  
“Mature.” Peter laughs out at his retreating back.

\--Sherriffs POV

Sherriff Stilinski heaves another heavy sigh and leans against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed in a typical disapproving parent way. He rubs a calloused hand against his chin considering, which wolf would it be? They all had senses far too astute to be caught with their pants down so either they were familiar enough with the Sherriff that their presence here wouldn’t be questioned or they were so sociopathically narcissistic that they didn’t give a damn, that really only left two choices. The Sheriff raises his eyes as he hears a loud thud mostly likely his son falling on his ass or, his face, either way far too common of an occurrence to be unduly worried or warrant investigating. He sighs again, ruling out Derek who is far too skittish and paranoid to stick around to get shot, besides he seems like the type that would declare his intentions to the Sherriff before undergoing any sort of intimate activity with his son. He didn’t think Isaac was back in town but he and his son have a strained relationship over their claim to Scott so it was unlikely the wolf was him….Stiles had taken to wearing scarves lately though. He hmms thoughtfully. Scott would have absolutely no qualms about making use of the Stilinksi facilities and it wouldn’t be the first time the two have vegged out after school together in their underwear but given the way Stiles had reacted it wasn’t a platonic friend. He’s conflicted about Scott it would be far too much like incest but he already considered him a son ..soo. He groans as he’s left to consider the final viable wolf candidate. Peter Hale, he grits his teeth.

Stiles thunks heavily down the stairs and is buttoning his jeans as he walks into the kitchen.  
“Pop’s” he says grinning before seating himself heavily at the kitchen table. His grinning subsides slightly as he father looks evenly at him. He coughs nervously rubbing a hand through his hair. “ So..” he starts awkwardly.  
The older man just raises a brow at the nervous teen whose legs are jiggling under the table. The boy starts violently when the doorbell rings. He looks confused and the groans. “Of course you have to make an entrance.” He makes to stand up but is restrained by his father’s hand. 

“ I’ll get it.” Stilinski says smiling viciously before putting his dad face on.He sighs and crosses his arms when he opens the door, why couldn’t it have been Scott or Derek.  
The man on the threshold is smiling pleasantly at him, posture far too relaxed for someone whose skills at self-preservation apparently brought him back from the dead.  
“ Bible salesman. “ He says nodding in greeting and sighing again.

Peter grins not the slightest bit abashed he extends a hand.  
“ I don’t believed we’ve been formally introduced. I’m Peter Hale.”

The Sherriff considers the hand, uncrossing his arms but making no move to reciprocate.  
“ I’m aware,” he replies looking into the man’s eyes that are crinkling in amusement. 

“Good things I hope.” Peter says shrugging un-phased as he withdraws his hand.

“ Only if you consider death certificates , physical assault and numerous homicides good.”

There’s a malicious glint in the wolf's eyes as he opens his mouth to respond. Stiles hurries over to them and heaves an arm around his fathers shoulders .  
“ Don’t answer that.” He says firmly to Peter.  
The man shrugs “, on the grounds that I might incriminate myself?” The Sheriff frowns as Peter winks at him and Stiles groans audibly. “Please, dead men can’t be convicted of murder.” He says cheerfully.  
Stilinski levels a judgmental look on his son who squints trying to come up with a feasible excuse or response. “I got nothing. “ He admits.

“ All right.” The Sherriff says wearily sighing again “let’s get this over with.” He follows his son and the admittedly impressive wolf into his house.  
“By the way Peter," He asks as an after thought " why did you use the door?”

Peter smiles and doesn’t miss a beat as the lie rolls smoothly off his tongue.“It’s only polite.” He says eyes widening innocently.  
The Sherriff looks confused.  
Stiles doubles over with laughter and Peter frowns at him. “ Yeah right!” He chortles “I threw his shirt out the window.!”  
The Sheriff looks resigned as he shifts his scrutiny back to Peter. The wolf manages to muster up a look of amused chagrin “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

Stilinski snorts and rolls his eyes but smiles covertly at seeing his son who slaps Peter on the back still cackling and wiping tears from his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and thats the end of that chapter * dusts hands together*  
> Honestly I was going to get down to the good stuff immediately but Stiles brain kep going off on random kind of applicable tangents. *Slaps typing hand * bad Stiles.  
> His new ingenius plan tto make Peter super uncomfortable next chapter!  
> Love and shirtless werewolves to you all.  
> Crash x


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sherriff utilises his interrogative techniques on his delinquent teenage son and his middleaged boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading all you crazy cats! At this point in time the characters are pretty much just doing what they want I was keen for some smutt but they wanted some semblance of story...assholes.  
> enoy. x

**Sherriffs POV**

Sherriff Stilinski obviously waits until they are eating to broach the uncomfortable subject of the middle aged man and his designs on his- technically legal but still- teenage son. Prolonging the moment of interrogation is a tactic he’s found to be particularly useful in dealing with Stiles . He lets the uncomfortable silence and tension grow until Stiles gets so worked up and anxious that he practically spills out every traumatic embarrassing thing he’s ever done.

Underhanded ? Possibly.

Effective ? Most Definitely.

He’ll admit he almost feels bad at how easy it is but then Stiles has been a ~~compulsive liar~~ storyteller since he could form sentences. Also he came home the other day after letting this man into his home to find his severely dented garbage embedded in Ms Hamill’s sculpted hedging, a smashed in letterbox and a -thank the lord someone had finally  done it-destroyed hideous gnome that Stiles bought him for Fathers’ day. So he waits, eyes going from his son to the infuriatingly pleasantly smiling man leaning casually in the dining room doorway. Stiles is pacing and babbling about god knows what, he thinks he heard something about de-oxidisation but purposefully tuning Stiles out is much practiced skill of his. The Sherriff crosses his arms and observes. Stiles eyes keep darting nervously from the wolf to him. To his credit the Sherriff notes that the other man exudes a sort of calm, he watches the way his lips curl slightly as Stiles grows more and more agitated, an expression of fond amusement on the other man’s face which turns to a smirk whenever the Sheriffs son looks at him. Hmmm interesting.

  
The Sherriff watches curiously as the wolf tilts his head as if listening to something before pushing himself of out of his casual position and walking to the front door. There are a few seconds of quiet before the doorbell rings and a few seconds more as the man just stands there, until he apparently deems an acceptable amount of time has passed for a regular person to be able to make it the door and he answers. Stiles, he notices is watches this moment with interest too. It’s as if the wolf is letting them in on a secret. He actually has to work to appear human but more than that sometimes he actually tries! Hmmm who knew? Apparently his son is just as surprised as he is because they look at each other in slight wonderment.

  
He watches with satisfaction as the wolf pulls out some bills and hands them to a slightly flabbergasted pizza guy. He’d be more pleased that the man was apparently a good tipper if he didn’t think he was trying to impress him. But then again the fact that he was trying to impress the Sherriff at all also counted in his favour because that means he cares about what the man thinks of him. Stiles gives him a smug smile and trots into the kitchen after the wolf.

  
He rolls his eyes and ensures his sigh is loud enough to be heard both by those with supernaturally enhanced hearing in the next room and those with exceptionally well honed “totally secret” eavesdropping skills. He cracks his knuckles as he approaches the table and sits and begins to eat his pizza in what he hopes is an intimidating way but smiles to himself as he does it.

  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Stiles**

Sherriff Stilinski eyes them both suspiciously across the table tilting his head as he munches aggressively on his pizza. Stiles gulps, uncomfortable and swallows back the ADHD fuelled rising hysteria bubbling in him that makes him want to talk about the origin of forks and the health benefits of sleeping naked. He’s hyper aware of Peter sitting next to him, seriously there are two other seats he could be sitting in, bastard! His jiggling leg brushes up against the other man’s and he almost moves himself away from the amused figure beside him under his father’s scrutiny. He swallows again and starts plucking the pepperoni and cheese off his pizza and rolls the base up shoving the whole doughy tube into his mouth. The Sherriff and Peter stop eating to look at him, both equally disgusted and wearing exasperated expressions. Stiles looks at both of them opening his stuffed full mouth wider to spit out a “what?” His father rolls his eyes at him and Peter gives him the Hale brows of judgement. Jeez he thinks to himself as he struggles to swallow the massive lump, they practically inflicted this on themselves, in fact this could’ve been entirely avoidable if not for Peter. He grins evilly to himself as he remembers his plan from earlier. If forced parental interaction was Peters game to try and legitimise his stalking as a genuine” relationship” then he was going to get the whole Stiles dating Package!

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Peter**

Peter smiles pleasantly as the sheriff eyeballs stiles and himself. The former is still nervously jiggling in an irritating way that makes Peter want to tie him down and force some calm into him. He makes a note to himself to consider that thought later, privately, in depth. His attention is drawn back to the present as Sheriff Stilinski sighs in what Peter assumes is resignation. Oh good maybe he won't get shot tonight, that's always a bonus.

The man gives Peter a stern glare and says to Stiles "honestly, I thought it would derek."

 

Stiles chokes on the dough ball that seems to Peter to be far too large to ever fit down his  esophageal capacity. He makes another note to test the teens esophagus capacity. He grins to himself which the Sheriff does not take well, especially as his son is apparently choking to death beside him. Peter rolls his eyes and gives stiles a werewolf enforced thump on the back. 

"Honestly Stiles, how are you not dead?"He says chastising the boys ineptitude at life.

"It must be my incredible poise and social graces." Stiles wheezes

  He immediately comes to attention and looks wide eyed at his father. "Hey I thought you said I dressed too badly to be gay?"

Peter smirks and eyes his outfit in obvious agreeance. 

"Obviously I was wrong."

Peter snorts approvingly, the boys taste in fashion leaves so , so much to be desired, he is honestly considering systematically destroying all the horrendous slogan-ed tees, not to mention the plaid. I mean Peter has sexy lumberjack fantasies as much as the next guy but really stiles, just really?

"Honestly I'm feeling so attacked right now. "  
Stiles crosses his arms sulking. 

"Well you just ruined my coming out party. There was going to be cake and streamers and a raffle not to mention the stripper cake and the drag queens."

"I feel like we're getting off track here." The sheriff says wearily.

 

"You were insinuating your preference of my nephew over myself in regards to suitability as a sexual partner for your son. "

 

Stiles flails violently backwards in his chair hard enough that without Peters reflexive restraining hand he would've potentially concussed himself ..again.

 

The sheriff appears to purposefully steel himself as he takes another overtly aggressive bite of his pizza.

 

"Geez dad chill out, it's already dead."

Peter takes advantage of the moment of awkward quasi pizza induced silence to reflect. He frowns to himself as he analyses his actions while maintaining a pleasant exterior. Usually everything he does is contrived and designed to produce desired reactions , but when he’d answered the door and paid for the pizza and now, as he only begins eating after the man opposite him does, he realises he did things on a whim. Something he was doing with increasing frequency around Stiles. He hopes that unlike him the other two aren’t examining his behaviour and actions as much as he himself is and almost snorts because, well a Sherriff and an overly inquisitive intuitive teen, yeah that doesn’t seem likely.

He realises that he was comfortable enough around them to not actively pretend like he didn’t hear the pizza man coming or smell the pepperoni from a mile away. He’d also shared a piece of himself he hadn’t intended : Talia had taught him to wait at the door until enough time had passed that whoever was on the other side wouldn’t be unnerved by their sudden appearance. She’d scolded him a number of times about it when he was a teenager and had revelled in the shocked expressions and dropped deliveries as he opened the door to assorted mail men, Jehovas witnesses and delivery people who had been raising their hand to knock. His heart gave a strange pang, his sister may have been too soft hearted for an alpha but he still remembered her fondly, on occasion.

  
Stiles hand suddenly on his snaps him back into reality. The teen who had been radiating anxiety and tension for the past half hour was suddenly gleeful. Peter quirks a brow at him and looks pointedly at their joined hands surprised that the boy had initiated such contact especially in front of his father and even more unlikely considering the nature of how Peter came to force this domestic situation.  
The Sherriff puts his pizza down and crosses his arms the picture of authority, Peter almost laughs but that would be detrimental to this whole endeavour so he maintains his impassive pleasant face.

  
“So Stiles how do you think its best we approach this subject?” The boys father says. Peter looks to Stiles Ha! This should be interesting, although he is calm…It’s kind of unfathomably creepy.

  
“Dad I know how this must seem to you especially considering my lack of aforementioned ok party and your apparent preference for stubble and brooding eyebrows, but it’s really not like that at all. Peter is a perfect gentleman. “  
Stilinski snorts in amusement .Peter tries very very hard to maintain his mask.

  
“So he’s not pursuing a relationship with my teenage son? He’s just sneaking into your room at night and using our shower for reasons that aren’t deviant or sexually nefarious?”

  
“I didn’t say he wasn’t pursuing a relationship with me, dad, he is . But he’s fully committed to woo-ing me and taking it slow.”

  
“So finding him in my house taking a shower while I catch my son in his underwear is taking it slow? Derek would’ve declared his intentions.”

  
Stiles chokes on a rapid intake of air. “Ok first of all Peter has been spending his nights outside my room.” He sees his father’s brows shoot up and hurriedly amends his sentence.  
“ In a totally non – creepy save Stiles from the nasty monsters that always seem to target him way and as such I granted him use of the amenities because he’s being such an upstanding citizen. Also you know how I feel about pants.” He points a finger at his father to emphasise, the man reluctantly nods his concession.  
” Second of all it was Peter’s idea to formally introduce himself to you tonight and ‘declare his intentions.’” He mocks his father’s words by miming the inverted commas.  
Peter grins surprised that Stiles is sticking up for him but aside from being pleased he is also deeply deeply suspiscious. What is the boy up to.  
“ Third of all Derek? Really dad?”

  
Sherriff Stilinski looks pained but gathers some resolve. “ Uh-huh so the dented trash can and letterbox weren’t the result of some ..lovers spat?” He looks triumphant as he says this.

Peter and Stiles look at each other almost laughing before Stiles turns to his father and says by way of explanation. “ Derek.”

  
Stilinski rubs a hand wearily over his face looking slightly crestfallen.

  
Peter can’t resist, he has to comment. “ If my nephew is your only point of comparison for a well suited companion for your son then let me assure you I’m practically a shining example of chivalry and champagne.”

  
Stiles laughs and squeezes Peters hand in a way that would hurt most people but which just sends a rush through the wolf.  
“ What Peter is saying is that we haven’t even been on a date yet. He’s been waiting for your permission.”

  
He watches as the boy’s father leans back in his chair to observe them. He knows he looks a little too pleased with himself and that Stiles looks hopeful. Stilinski sighs for what must be the umpteenth time tonight.  
“ Derek huh? Tell him he owes me a letterbox and that he better know something about trimming bushes.” With that he pushes himself away from the table, grabs a box of pizza and heads for the living room.

  
Stiles grins and grips tighter to Peter’s hand when he tries to pull it away, he looks at the boy faintly surprised and curious.  
“So..” Stiles begins grinning mischievously “ about this wooing business. I and my father expect showering’s of wealth and presents daily. As well as the use of your finest steed”

  
“ That sounds suspiciously like a dowry Stiles. I’m trying to get into your pants not your southern good graces.”

  
Stiles laughs “ Hey you started this! There’s no backing out now. I expect to be thoroughly dated.”

  
So he was throwing down the gauntlet huh? How do the kids say it? Bring it. His predatorial grin creeps to the surface and has Stiles eyes widening slightly.  
“ I don’t date.” Peter says.

  
Stiles looks smug .“You do now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Peter and may have accidentally started some wars on tumblr because apparently not everyone thinks he's a wholesome upstanding character... X'D. huh ,who knew.  
> Hope you enjoyed it lovelies.  
> crash x.


	14. interro-vention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh god they don't know do they? shit! He thought he could keep his dirty little secret a while longer... oh well here goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all the best. Seriously. I'm kind of in love with you all.
> 
> This here chapter features Scott who is a sweety as per usual and sassy Lydia. YAY.  
> Sorry it's a bit later than usual but Sydney lost the grand final...I was not amused.
> 
> x.

**Stiles**

  
Stiles hums a tune he woke up to this morning, his fingers tapping along in time as he collects his lunch nm-nm -nm -nm chicken fingers and tater tots bitch! He turns from his place in line at the cafeteria almost dropping his tray of starchy potato goodness when he’s confronted by a concerned looking Scott and an arms crossed disagreeable looking Lydia. He gulps and allows them to herd him to a relatively isolated table.  
They stare at him and he’s becoming anxious his palms are sweating as he clenches and unclenches them, his throat is dry which makes his nervous gulping even more difficult. He finally cracks under the pressure of their combined interrogative gazes.

  
“Oh god.” Stiles moans. The gig is up they’ve finally decided to confront him on his dirty little secret. “….you know…I swear to god I was going to tell you.”

Lydia arches an eyebrow in a superior way and flips her hair. He looks to Scott who was looking sympathetically at him. Stiles rubs a hand over his face defeated. “ I was going to tell you… but you guys just jumped in and the damage was done. It’s just I know how pissed you’re mum would be Lydia if I dripped all over the carpets and ..I just had to!"

  
They are both staring at him with identical expressions of confused shock. Stiles lowers his hands from his face slowly.

  
“So you’re not confronting and murdering me for…” He starts cautiously but he sees no dawning of acknowledgement on their faces so cheerfully rubs a hand over his brow. “ Phewww.. lets just …that never happened. What can I do you for ?”

  
Lydia and Scott share a look and Stiles just knows now what they’re going to say, he sighs but it’s in relief.

  
“We need to talk about Peter.” They say in unison, concern painting their faces.

  
“Thank god! “ Stiles exclaims. “ It’s just an intervention. I thought it was an interrogation” He rubs his hands together gleefully and grins “ Lets get this Party started.”

\----------------------

  
**Scott**

  
Scott shoots a furtive glance at Lydia who is the authority on all things Peter but she appears calm as she flips her hair and slips into the bench seat across from Stiles. Scott maintains his worried expression as he follows suit, giving Stiles a guilty apologetic look. Honestly he hadn't even meant for Lydia to find out, he’d just been asking some - apparently not so subtle- questions regarding dealing with narcissist monster boyfriends. He was just trying to be helpful and supportive because he hadn't had a chance to talk to Stiles about the whole thing yet. Stiles has never really been anything but Stiles, there’s no way anybody would or could attempt to label him . So the fact that he has feelings for – wait is that right- maybe so the fact that he enjoys being touched by a man is more applicable and entirely unsurprising. Once in grade 4 Stiles made he and Scott dress up as batman and Spider man and get married, they got divorced after about 5 minutes because Stiles announced that batman would never be with anyone who doesn’t even exist in the same universe as him, let alone someone who says dude so much. He had then proceeded to make out with his superman action figure. Not to mention his ability to leave a gay nightclub with a pocket full of drag queens digits.  
Scott relaxes slightly as Stiles gives him a reassuring grin. The amber eyed teens gaze shifts to Lydia

  
“Alrighhhhty then. Make with the judgement.” He says waving a hand for Lydia to say something

.  
She gives him a penetrating look as if she can read his mind, Scott shirks back slightly because damn, she’s hella intimidating and he honestly wouldn’t put it past her to be able to read minds. Crap. What if she’s listening to him now?! Come on Scott think of math, crap he’s terrible at math..uhhhhhh shit ! He shiftily sneaks a few glances at her and she exhales and spins towards him. Scott swallows a yelp and raises his hands in surrender ,just because well.. she’s giving him this glare of judgement right now and he panicked. She shakes her head and returns her attention to Stiles who is laughing.

  
“ boys “ she mutters.

 

  
**LYDIA**

  
She inspects the boy across from her unknowingly adopting the sheriffs tactics for getting information out of his son, letting him stew under her penetrating focus until he cracks. Stiles though just looks amused , he’s actually smiling at her. Damn he used to be so flustered around her he’d stumble and fall down, from sitting, in a chair with arms. This composed and relaxed Stiles has definitely moved on and for someone who is apparently being subjected willingly to Peters presence he doesn’t look like he should be committed to eichen house.

 

“ Well you haven’t been wandering naked in the woods for 2 days,” Lydia opens with, twirling a finger through her strawberry blonde hair “ So I guess that’s something.”

 

Stiles laughs.

  
“Aannd he hasn’t manipulated me into wanting to murder or poison my friends, so I guess I’m winning this round .” he kids cocking his finger like a gun at her and Scott as he refers to his friends failings in  Peter’s previous holds over them.

  
Lydia tightens her expression , almost but not quite a frown because ‘ resting bitch face’ keeps you young forever.

  
“ You need to take this seriously Stiles. We’re worried about you ,we know what Peter’s capable of.” She reads Stiles expression and is afraid that he’ll shut down entirely so she continues and backtracks .  
“It’s not that we don’t think you know what you’re doing or telling you to stop, I mean I dated Aiden. It’s just I’m smarter than you..”

 

  
Stiles face sours until Scott shrugs and says “ well.. she is dude.”

 

Stiles appears resigned as he accepts this.” Touche’” he says flippantly “ proceed.”

  
“ All I’m saying is that he managed to get into my head and manipulate me, it’s not even just that he could do, it it’s the fact that he did it. He doesn’t care about people Stiles. He used me.”

 

Stiles nods and leans forwards towards the duo to deliver his rebuttal.

  
“Yes he was able to manipulate you, I concede that, but you’re more susceptible because you’re supernaturally linked to death and the all that other side business . Also technically you were manipulated by the undead spirit of crazy Peter.”  
Scott looks like he’s going to interrupt so Stiles throws up a hand to stop him, smiling as he does so. Luckily because Lydia does not take kindly to ‘ the hand ‘ from anyone.

“ okay yes so crazy Peter is probably not the greatest identifier description, how about ..crazier psychotic Peter. I’ll admit, he’s still got issues ,”

  
Lydia and Scott snort , because hello , understatement “but,” he says shooting the pair a sharp look “ he’s a work in progress and he didn’t actually make you kiss him…just yoou know .. “ He flails for the right words “ made you hallucinate that you did.”

  
Lydia hmmphs unconvinced.

  
“Okay guy’s how about an example of how much I’m not being manipulated?” Stiles asks, obviously needing them to understand.

 

  
Scott defers to Lydia and she nods her acceptance,a skeptical look on her face.

  
“ mkay, so last night long story short Peter manufactured a situation in which he would force me into an uncomfortable and compromising situation with my father, yes I’m aware of how this sounds so stop with the hale eyebrows.” Stiles says as Lydia and Scott both raise their eyebrows at the contradiction to Stiles whole point.

  
“ So yes, Peter is a cheeky rascal who makes people uncomfortable for kicks ,but, point being somehow it eventuated, and by somehow eventuated I mean I am a god, obviously, that he is beholden to my charms and sought an audience with my father to gain his permission to court me in a manner befitting a young man of my social standing.” Seeing Scotts blank look he translates.

  
“I made him look good in front of my father and in return for not being shot in the face with wolfsbane he’s now required to date the hell out of me.”

  
Scott laughs and Lydia looks impressed.

  
“He then exited out of the front door like a respectable citizen and spent the night on my roof texting me without even a hint of a death threat.” Stiles say smugly, Scott chokes on a laugh.  
“He texts you?!”

  
“ Yeah well short of yelling through the roof it’s kind of hard to hold up a conversation when one party doesn’t have superhuman hearing.”  
Scott is still snorting , presumably at Peter texting like a teen age girl.

  
“ Why didn’t he just come inside and inflict his wit on you in person ?” Lydia asks.

 

  
“Ah, maybe because he was respecting my boundaries?”

  
“Bravo.” Lydia says impressed. “You made him think of someone other than himself.”

  
Scott starts a slow clap.  
“You tamed the big bad wolf!”

  
Stiles smirks and takes a bow.

  
“ Though with that ass as end game, I can’t really fault him for that. “ Lydia says eyeing Stiles archly. Scott’s mouth drops open and his clapping abruptly stops, Stiles falls off of the bench. Lydia commends herself, yep, she’s still got it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sexy people for reading, as always leave me some love :p
> 
> Crash x.


	15. Date me beautiful.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pack movie night ! yeah son ! wait...there is a conspicuous lack of people. It's a trap! Stiles inner nerd cackles with glee as he mentally high fives himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up lovelies! Sorry it's taken a little longer than normal to post this up, blame it on graduation,throat infections and Oliver Queen. Damn Stephen Amell is one fine specimen of adorable! Also I've been binge reading Brent Weeks lightbringer series..SOOOOO GOOOOd.  
> Enjoy lovelies. If their ever was a Timeline-which i doubt haha- onliterate that pretense I'm too wearing for any structure other than relationship progression haha - which too shall fail to random tidbits etc about things like Dilfs attempting to flirt with Stiles at the supermarket and Peter reacting, badly-.  
> Anywaaaay  
> Enjoy!

Okay so maybe he's a bit early but come on seriously, it's Marvel whats not to be excited about?! Stiles checks his watch, yeah he's only 20 minutes early. Whoops. The rest of the pack probably won't be here foranother 15 minutes. Stiles wanders around the theatre lobby for a few minutes before he sits down, Pack movie night yeah son!. He sits for almost 10 minutes before the conspicuous lack of movie goers starts to unnerve him.It's alright, no biggy, its not like he's going to be kidnapped. Again.oh no oh no. It's a trap! Stiles inner nerd cackles with glee as he mentally high fives himself and simultaneously starts freaking out, then Peter walks in.  
\-------

Stiles is uncomfortable. Super uncomfortable. Like on a scale of holding a conversation with Sylvester Stallone, to accidentally kicking the queen in the cooch, he’s hovering at about being the hulks chauffeur..in a Prius. He’s nervously looking anywhere but at the unnerving gaze of the man in front of him. He fidgets clicking his fingers and slapping them into his opposite palm as he breathes out an “ooooooookay” emphasising the ‘O’ with a ridiculous pouty face that momentarily draws the man’s gaze before he returns to Stiles eyes.

“ So this is sufficiently awkward.” Stiles surmises as he finally meets Peter’s eyes.

Peter just stares freakily stoically back at him. Like he has for the last 10 frigging minutes and it is ridiculously unnerving and Stiles definitely can’t take anymore.

“DUDE!” Stiles exclaims waving a hand in front of the older Hales face.

Peter follows the motion with his eyes, an annoyed expression on his face but otherwise says and does nothing. Stiles steps back abruptly a shocked expression on his face.

“DUDE! You’re not like catatonic again are you?!” The teen is flailing a bit and is clearly panicking.

Okay Stiles says to himself, what do I do? What do I do? He’s wringing his hands mercilessly, trying to remember everything he’s learnt from countless hours of google and wiki-ing. He rejects the Heimlich manoeuvre and leeches offhand but considers a pen tracheotomy, the foetal position and defibrillation. He looks around frantically for any exposed wires or unmanned stationary cups, hyperventilating at actually considering shoving a pen into someones – especially a resort to violence in almost all situations someones- throat before he moves a bit closer to Peter.

“O-k…OK” he says a bit more decisively and nods his head as if reaching a conclusion about what he should do.” He looks the older man in the eye and speaks to him very..very slowly .” If you can understand me ,blink twice.” Stiles gulps nervously until Peter gives a trademark pronounced eye roll ending with an are-you-serious eye brow raise. Stiles almost throws himself on the wolf in relief but catches himself in time and gives him a suspicious look, pouting slightly in consternation.

“ Why were you doing that then?!”

Peter smirks lightly and shrugs before looking away to hide his grin as he replies “ I wasn’t doing anything.”

Stiles sputters helplessly his mouth opening and closing wordlessly before he throws his arms up in exasperation and continues his pacing. He shoots a glare at Peter. Stiles has been waiting in this strangely empty movie theatre lobby for the last 20 minutes for his friends, 10 minutes of which have been in the company of a confirmed homicidal narcissistic psychopath…Narcissist with psychotic tendencies he automatically corrects his inner monologue before slapping his palm into his face. Hard.  
God Peter really was getting to him. He shiftily narrows his eyes, glancing reproachfully at Peter- who is grinning-, before continuing his inner ramblings. 10 minutes alone with Peter when all he wanted is to meet up with the pack and watch this freaking movie. Peter clears his throat politely from where he’s leaning against a claw machine. Stiles sighs wearily but doesn’t acknowledge him right away . When he does turn to give Peter his dagger eyes the man is less than a foot from him, he yelps in surprise and trips over himself as he stumbles backwards. Peters grip is firm around his wrist catching him before he brains himself on typically horrendous cinema décor carpet. Peter must pull him with a little too much enthusiasm –or exactly the right amount-because Stiles finds himself flush against the man’s chest. The perfectly sculpted, hard planes, deep V-necked chest, a chest like that of a ridiculously attractive sassy god. He whimpers in surprise which causes Peter to give a low satisfied growl before he leans into the delicate crook of the teenager’s neck which is flushing so prettily in his embarrassment. Stiles lets out another whimper this time of need as Peter’s nose and lips graze softly along the line of his neck. Peters response is to grr happily -and not at all whimper inducingly- as he opens his mouth over the prominent tendons . Damn it! Stiles has been trying so hard not to think about this, the way Peters mouth feels on his skin, the wolfs touch, that seductive growl that rumbles through that ridiculous chest. SHIT. He actually mostly succeeded yesterday in not thinking about it, there two..okay three lapses..but he’s a man damn it! He has needs!

The moment is broken by an amused ahem from behind the candy counter. Stiles eyes fly open at the sound as he scrambles uselessly against the wolf not wanting to be caught in a compromising position by the rest of the pack. It’s a futile exercise obviously because somewhere in the last 20 seconds Peter has wrapped his arms possessively around the teen. He looks up slowly and vengefully from where he’d been basking in the teens scent and leaving some of his own behind.

The cashier coughs nervously before giving Peter a thumbs up and says “good to go.”

Peter nods and stares at the young girl before she gets the hint and makes herself scarce. Peter unwraps his arms from around Stiles and smiles mischievously at him “ beauty before beauty “ he says and winks .

Stiles stares stupidly for a second before frowning and crossing his arms.  
“No one else is coming are they?”

Peter smiles and shakes his head. “Your deductive skills are truly astounding.” He commends with a smirk.

“ The text from Derek?” Stiles asks after narrowing his eyes at Peter for his last comment.

“He’s surprisingly old fashioned in his bathroom entertainment, unlike some people who spend half an hour in there playing candy crush.”

Stiles blushes and thinks the better of arguing because he really doesn’t want to know how Peter knows his toilet habits. So the man had taken Derek’s phone while he was taking a crap, crafty. The teen considers shrieking ‘ false pretences’, throwing his shoe at Peter and legging it, but really..what would that achieve.

“I had wondered about that.” Stiles say thoughtfully tapping his chin with his forefinger.”Derek stopped texting me after I sent him that link to an assless leather pants manufacturer.”

Peter chokes on a laugh before doubling over and letting his mirth roam free. Stiles looks at him startled but with a pleased smile, he wonders if he’s ever heard Peter really laugh before, except you know when he’s maniacally murdering people or at someone’s expense. Derek doesn’t count. Stiles doesn’t have time to filter his brain to mouth actions before he says  
“Fuck it! Lets go.”

Peter looks at him shocked and cautiously hopeful as if he’d expected there to be huge dramas and boundless protestations. Stiles scoffs at his face and tugs on his hand, he clearly underestimated how much Stiles loves Marvel movies and V-necks.

\------

Thanks for reading!  
Hit me up on Tumblr yoh! [Crashlea](http://crashlea-hart.tumblr.com/) :)

 

love you long time  
Crash x.

 

 

 


	16. what is noob?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is completely unexperienced with this whole Marvel thing but damn is he glad he rented out the theatre, he is so not in the mood for disemboweling disgruntled patrons. This shirt, is new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all you sparkly biatches :P I don't know its late and I'm delirious. Too be honest I was caught up playing and abusing my car on need for speed so apologies if anythings disjointed. Other than that as always ENJOY.  
> Crash x.

The novelty of actually being in a movie theatre has Stiles beaming like an idiot. Every single one of his so called friends flat out refuse to go to the cinemas with him and Stiles is a social being, he refuses to go alone lest he gain an unhealthy amount of cats on the trek over there. Scott has no problems bro-ing out on the coach with him and binge watching tv series and movies galore, but factor in a theatre full of shhh-ing and glaring and he’s out. In Stiles opinion Scott cares way too much about what other people think to be able to sit comfortably in a room full of people and watch a movie with him. Come on guys all he wants to do is provide some wholly relevant educational factoids that totally enhance the viewing experience and understanding of the cinematic story and also point out Stan Lee and explain the in jokes. It’s not his fault if this is somehow construed as rude or disruptive. Somehow Peter knew this, or at least guessed at it, which is creepy and ridiculously sweet at the same time..so much so that Stiles will in the future curb the impulse to use this moment to blackmail the wolf. Now that’s sacrifice. Maybe he’s truly getting into this whole wooing dating thing. Stiles restrains himself from batting his lashes like a good southern girl. Stiles Shh’s loudly at his own brain as the theatre darkens. Peters gives him a quizzical glance and Stiles shoves him in what he hopes is construed as a playful way. He did use more force than would be necessary if Peter had been human. Luckily he’s a werewolf and it’s like being batted by a kitten to him which makes the man smirk.

The attendant slips in quietly with an armful of goods which Peter receives with a nod. Stiles remains oblivious to the interaction until Peter shoves a mega bucket of popcorn his chest not waiting for him to recover and grip it but thankfully only spilling only the top layer . Regardless Stiles glowers – pop corn is a precious commodity sent by the gods of salty salty goodness - until the wolf smirks and silently hands him a paper bag as well. He then pointedly looks at the screen as if he doesn’t care what Stiles reaction will be but tunes his ears onto the rhythm of the boys heart, which admittedly is already erratic. Damn he really does love marvel movies. Stiles yanks the bag that is more gently proffered and sends the way too serene looking wolf another perfunctory glower but only a glancing one because honestly he has better things to be…Oh.My.God. Curly fries !!! Peter grins as the teens heart jumps in surprise, he chances a sidelong glance finding the Stiles flushing prettily with his mouth open. Stiles blushes as again he is taken aback by Peter’s actions that are completely contrary to the psycho murdering narcissistic sassy pants that he’s proven himself to be over and over again. Yeah maybe he’s set the bar on good behaviour low but hey ! It’s all relative . He catches Peter sneaking glances at him and grins at him slumping back into his seat with his goodies. He’s not looking at the man when he admits.

“ Yeah you did good,” he can’t resist adding on “ show off.”

Peter huffs smugly.

“And you say you don’t date.” Stile’s scoffs shovelling popcorn into his mouth.

“Well, there was Melissa.” The wolf deadpans. Stiles chokes and sputters a wet kernel flying out of his mouth, Peter smirks reaches into lap to grab a singular kernel and pop it into his mouth. Stiles is glaring at him. Again.

“Watch the movie.” Peter admonishes blue eyes sparkling with humour but being the picture of innocence and composure. Stiles grrrs at him but quickly becomes enraptured by the screen.

Peter will never admit it but he jumped in surprise when the teen exclaimed and pointed at the screen. He had been too caught up in watching him.

“ Ooh Ooh! There’s Stan Lee!!”

As if those words have any significance to Peter. He is completely and semi willfully unexperienced with this whole Marvel thing but damn is he glad he rented out the theatre, he is so not in the mood for disemboweling disgruntled patrons. This shirt, is new. Kudos to his intuition. He falls back into the pattern of covertly watching Stiles for most of the movie, the boy’s just so reactive and expressive, that certainly bodes well. Peter grins lasciviously in anticipation.He blinks surprised when the screen fades to black. Huh that was quick he had not even a vague notion of what it was about. The antagonist seemed an interesting specimen. By interesting of course he means entirely do-able with a capital D. 

Stile’s is sitting on the edge of his seat flailing in ….Outrage? Excitement ? Peter’s not really sure when the credits start rolling. Peter dusts off his lap and prepares to stand when Stiles ppphs at him derisively muttering something that sounds like noob –again is that supposed to mean something to the wolf- and places a restraining hand on his chest to keep him seated. Honestly Peter might as well be naked for all the boundary his v-neck provides between his skin and Stile’s hand, which spasms around the contours of the wolfs pectoral as if the teen is only just now aware of ho3w intimately he’s grabbing him. Peter smirks as the scent of desire washes over him, intoxicating. He would roll around in it if he could, which is precisely what he endeavours to achieve by nights end. He snorts as another more decisive grab is performed on his chest.

“Oooh I like where this is going .” 

Stiles shrugs completely unabashed and smiles lopsidedly at him.“ Can you blame me, you might as well have painted that damn thing on.”

Peter laughs and encases Stiles hand in his own pressing it firmly against himself while entwining their fingers. Stiles flushes again but beams that he’s made Peter laugh.

“ Honestly if you were a woman you’d probably be arrested for indecent exposure.” 

Peter looks mournful. “ Alas another example of gender imbalance. I endeavour to take full advantage of this inequality to ensure that no one in the world shall be denied the glory that is my chest.”

“And the world thanks you for it.” Stiles announces dragging a very deliberate gaze up and down Peters chest finishing with a wink and an unconscious moistening of his lips. 

Peter considers suppressing the growl but it’s not really in his nature to deny his extincts. Damn that boys lips and tongue. He tightens his hold on the boys hand as he growls lustfully. Stiles pupils widen and the wolf hears his hear pick up, another dense cloud of arousal surrounding them. A pleased growl escapes his throat and he uses the captured hand to pull the teen closer to him. Stiles allows himself to be pulled until both hands are flush against the wolf radiating heat like a furnace. He’s trapped in Peters blue eyes not even realising when suddenly close enough to share breath. Peters gaze becomes transfixed on Sties parted lips. The credit music abruptly stops and Peter is left with a mouth full of nothing and a halting hand pushed into his face.

“ Hold it!” Stiles exclaims as the sneak preview comes on.  
Peter is not amused. His expression darkens and grabs the hand almost pushed into his face and pulls it to his mouth. Stiles brow furrows .

“ What are you..oh…oh god.”

The wolfs tongue snakes hotly over Stiles index finger followed by an encompassing heat as Peter engulfed the long digit in his mouth. Sucking gently at first his tongue firmly massaging.  
Stiles loses all cohesion, he doesn’t even know what planet he’s on right now let alone which comic universe he’s looking at. The hot moisture and dextrous tongue feel like they’re wrapped around his cock. Yep color him desperately aroused. The wolf extricates a pornographic moan from the teen whos given up any façade of trying to concentrate. He skims his teeth against the soft underside of Stiles finger as he pulls his mouth up bobbing down again soon after and swirling his tongue against the boy.

“ Fuck Peter…I should ignore you more often.” Stiles gasps breathlessly which earns him a nip and another growl.

Peter withdraws from stiles hand , the boy looks positively blissfully vacant his head back mouth agape. The lights flash back into existence and Stiles hisses like a vampire exclaiming “ MY RETINAS.”

Peter laughs and pulls him up by his elbow leaning into his ear to whisper.

“ Let’s go fill your eyes with something much more pleasing, hmm?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh Heh Heh I'm so keen for sexy time that's right its going down and then Peters sgoing down and Stiles is going down and everything is down! and also UP. hahaha. Annnywaaaay.Leave me some love and thank you so much to all you fantastic people and interweb entities who've expressed their affection for my Steter. LOVE YOU.  
> Crash XXX


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles spots the hummer as Peter drags him towards it across the park, the teen gapes at it increduously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for getting distracted and not posting for a while. I was on a roll today and wrote a longer chapter to reward my pretties their patience! xxx

Stiles makes an exaggerated choking sound and flails as the back of his collar is grabbed and yanked whilst walking in the direction of his jeep after exitting the theatre. The teen makes a marge simpsonesque grumble of complaint as he’s reeled into Peters personal space. The wolf tssks unhappily waving a chiding finger at Stiles as he does so.

“uh, uh, uh. I’ve finally got you on agreeable terms and am not risking you overthinking things and fleeing to Mexico under an assumed identity before you make it to my apartment.”

Stiles pouts petulantly through this and opens his mouth to argue once the man is done. Honestly though…he might have a point. Stiles crosses arms and pulls a pensive turtle face as he muses: yes he probably would spaz out halfway through following the wolf there and the jeep is a convenient out also Mexico is great this time of year and he’s always kind of loved the name Miguel . Peter huffs impatiently and rolls his eyes as if guessing Stiles train of thought. He yanks the boy along with him by his elbow.

“I really shouldn’t give you ideas.” He mutters as he stalks along dragging the boy through the parking lot.

Stiles laughs and stumbles along eyes alight with curiosity as he wonders which car in the lot is Peters. He spots a yellow beetle and almost breaks down into hysterics as he imagines the wolf behind the wheel. There are a few nondescript sedans and Stiles suddenly remembers the last time he saw Peter with a car surely though if he kept his nurses car he would have at least have emptied the trunk by now.. oookay maybe this is a bad idea…bad bad bad..oh my god a hummer. His jaw drops and he gives Peter an appraising glance. The wolf notices and looks to the hummer theyre approaching scoffing at Stiles incredulous expression.

“Puhlease.” He scoffs disbelievingly. “I’m not Derek. I don’t feel the need to overcompensate. I’m quite happy with the person I am.”

Stiles chokes on a laugh, quickly turning it into a fit of coughing as he’s met with a steely blue glare and led around the hummer to Peters car. Amber eyes go wide and the teen gives a impressed whistle. He wrestles his way out of Peters arms and runs a hand reverently over the curves. He looks to Peter whose expression is smug as he watches the teen a satisfied smile quirking his mouth pleasantly.

Stiles grins. “Can I drive?”

Peters eyes narrow but he smiles wider. ” Not on your life.”

He pulls opens the passenger door and practically shoves the lanky teen in elbows and knees flying before he strides to the driver’s side and slides in. Stiles scowls at the grace with which the man manages it. Peter gives him a vicious grin and before Stiles can growl in retaliation the wolf is in his space. The sturdy indecently clad drool inducing torso is pressed up against his arm and Stiles has to forcibly swallow a yelp of surprise. A puff of air exhaled in amusement hits his neck and Stiles shivers as it sends tingles over his body, stubble skims over his sensitive neck and the teen fights a moan. Peter’s nose brushes against Stiles jaw as he scents the boy, a small rumble of satisfaction escapes him. He reaches over Stiles brushing him unnecessarily and delighting in the responsive noises he makes . He swiftly pulls and clicks the seatbelt into place and is out of the boys space before Stiles can blink.

“Safety first.” The wolf says smirking as Stiles blinks stupidly at him. He chuckles and turns the key the car rumbling to life with the quiet power of a crouching predator

 “ So..uh your car’s pretty.” Peter raises a judgemental brow at him and pulls out of the lot.

Stiles swallows trying to calm his nerves and anticipatory ADD enhanced spastic-ness. He glances around taking in his surroundings; two doors, leather interior, fancy buttons.

“Yes, again well done on the observational skills.” Peter drawls amused.

Oops so maybe he’d said his cataloguing out loud, well at least it wasn’t as embarrassing an observation as how his jeans are way too tight to be healthy with a boner. He subtly pushes at his groin feigning adjusting his seatbelt. Peter snorts at him.

“Hey…shut up .” Stiles says embarrassed as he punches the driver playfully.

“TT Coupe’

 Stiles looks confused and moves his lips as he tries to decipher what Peter said.He looks up.”please tell me that’s not a sex thing.”

The wolf looks momentarily stunned before he throws his head back and laughs. Stiles gulps and shifts uncomfortably in his pants again ,un reserved non-psychotic -murder laughter should not look so attractive. Peter’s sharp teeth face him again, his nostrils flaring and eyes darkening as Stiles interest washes over him. He grins and maybe its Stiles imagination but he seems to drive with more purpose. The teen licks his lips and gapes as Peter lewdly palms at his own dick, adjusting, rubbing? Stiles isn’t sure but that is not fucking playing fair.

“The car.” Stiles looks up from Peters lap.

“ What?”

“ The car it’s an Audi TT coupe.” The wolf replies.

“Right you are sir.” Stiles says saluting him with two fingers as his attention slips back to Peter’s crotch.

The car pulls into an upmarket complex which perks stiles interest. Hmmph he’s always been under the impression that wolves preffered the anonymity of abandoned buildings or caves. Peters window slides down as he stops at the security check.

“Mr. Lycan, good to see you sir.” The man at the booth greets scanning Peters tag.

The wolf levels a stern look on the teen who hastily clamps down on his rising hysterical giggles. Lycan ? Wolf…hahahahaha Mr. wolf.Shit.Well at least the teen wasn’t wrong about the anomymity thing though now that he3 thinks about it it might just be a my family was horrifically murdered by werewolf hunter thing. Yeah, not so amusing. He brings his attention back to the two men.

“ I’d like to authorise clearance and a permanent pass here for my companion.”

Stiles blushes as the security man curiously inspects him. He smiles knowingly.

“ Of course sir as soon as possible. I’ll email you the paperwork. What name for the temporary pass?”

“Mr. S..”

Stiles hurriedly cuts in. “ Mr. Underhill.”

Peter quirks a quizzical brow at him but the security man looks taken aback before he laughs and scribbles something on a sticker and sheet of paper. He winks at Stiles as he hands them over to Peter who looks thoroughly unimpressed with the attention he’s giving the teen.

“Mr Lycan, Mr Baggins have a pleasant evening.” The guard dismisses them emphasising the Baggins as he raises the gate.

Peter narrows his eyes at him as he rolls through growing unhappily the noise lost in the cars powerful engine. Stiles laughs and pats him on the shoulder.

“Awww are you jealous?”

Peter growls unhappily again and yanks Stiles arm closer rubbing his face against the boys wrist and running his fangs over the tender flesh.

“ Chill out dude, us nerds have got to stick together.” Stiles says laughing whilst trying to be reassuring.

Peter ppphs at him in derision and continues nuzzling his arm possessively. They park and Peter drops Stiles arm and shuts off the engine. The teen gulps as the car locks automatically, an ominous sound under the circumstances.Blue eyes flare in the darkness and Stiles scrabbles away until he’s pressed up against the door.

“Come on man, be reasonable. Dude it was just some playful banter . alright? Me no likey mr security man.” He holds his hands up warding against the blazing blue orbs.

“Don’t call me dude.” Peter leans closer , he can hear Stiles heart thumping nervously, faster with every inch he leans forwards.” Relax you idiot I’m not going to maim or otherwise injure your person.”

He clicks the teens seat belt into release and smirks at the resulting exhale of relief. He watches the teen flail slightly as he fumbles for answers.

“ Ok if you're not going to eat me what’s with the wolfy eyes and trapping me in an enclosed space.” The wolf huffs a laugh and the blue eyes retreat as he leans back into his seat away from the boy.

“The wolfy eyes,” he says mocking Stiles “ are so I can see in the dark, you moron. The locked car is because I need you to agree to some conditions also I never said I wouldnt eat you.”

“That’s a bit dramatic don’t you think?” Peter rolls his eyes

“Right. Have I met you ? hahah , laying down the law cool, BTW insulting someone is probably not the best method of eduction if youre tryin g to lure them to your bed..just FYI.”

“Hmmm” says peter considering and scenting the air deliberately .”I don’t know about that it seems to be working on you.”

“….shut up.”

Peter laughs but doesn’t respond so Stiles continues.” Ok, so rules, pray tell good sir what is it you require of me. Lay ‘em on me big guy.”

Peter’s predatory gaze moves from scanning the flushed length of Stiles neck and becomes calculating. “You cannot under any circumstances refer to my apartment as a wolf den,lair..or, a creepy den of iniquity.” He adds as an afterthought.

Stiles face is carefully blank.

“ There will be absolutely no referring to me as bae or any other ridiculous modern colloquial for lover. You will keep your feet off my furniture and consume no food or beveridges outside of the designated dining areas.”

“ Arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, no food or Beveridge may be consumed while the ride is operational, sir!” Stiles grins and salutes mockingly. His expression becomes thoughtful and he raises his hand. Peter groans in exasperation but gestures for him to continue.

“Compromise?” Stiles questions smiling coyly at the older man.

Peter crosses his arms over his expansive pecs and raises an eyebrow.” Really you want to compromise about calling my home a wolf lair, or about calling me bae? This should be interesting”

“My only condition to your conditions is that your restrictions regarding the terminology of your ‘home’ are applicable to the entire apartment excepting the bedroom.” The teen accompanies this negotiation with some smooth weighty scales gestures indicating that hey compromise is good. Peter exhales in annoyance and unlocks his door shutting it forcefully after his exit. Stiles flight response kicks in and he grabs at the door with exit pursued by a bear haste. He whimpers as it remains immoving. Thwarted by a car! Damn. The wolf opens the door and yanks Stiles out pulling him along. Reality dawns on Stiles.

“Oh I see what’s happening here.” He says now  allowing Peter to tug him along more freely.” You so want to take me up to your lair.”

Without turning Peter can tell the teen is smirking at him.

“ How is this my life? ” Peter mutters to himself.

Stiles snickers. “ Hey so is sugar-daddy an acceptable term of endearment?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting closer guys!!! STETER WEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!  
> CrasH X.. leave me some mother flipping love yall ;)


	18. Southern Hospitality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter sighs yet again, the restraining hand on Stiles shoulder preventing the boy from jumping up and down is thrumming with the force of Stiles exuberance. Yet he doesn't regret this nearly as much as he thinks he probably should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss Teen Wolf and Black Sails only had 8 episodes and now I want to write a fic where Stiles is a spoilt governers son and a charming visiting aristocrat sweeps him off his feet at one of his fathers parties. An aristocrat who turns out to be a scoundrel of a pirate who'd assumed a captives identity to gain entry into the governers home and Stiles underthings. Alas I digress! Enjoy my lovelies :P  
> x.

“I regretted this in the car, why am I still here.” Peter sighs mournfully as he watches Stiles jump up and down in the elevator cackling joyously when it sinks slightly downwards before buoying back up.

He swipes a card against the illuminated panel that allows access to his floor sighing again as he reaches out and forces the boy to stay grounded with a restraining hand to his shoulder. Stiles attempts to jump up once more but is unable to budge, he makes a noise of complaint and pulls a face at Peter who just looks smugly back at him.

“Do not make me put you out of my misery.” Peter warns.

"I'm apparently the necrophiliac here not you and that's the way you like it .” Stiles quips still attempting to bounce, failing in that he starts gnawing on the fingers of the offending hand.

Peter snorts affectionately and lifts a finger to flick Stiles pert nose in chastisement but doesn’t otherwise respond. The energy thrumming through the teen is practically causing his palm to vibrate. God it’s not that exciting. Being the only person that’s ever actually been to Peter’s apartment aside from himself is not that huge of a deal. It just completely compromises all his safety and security measures ,yeah, this is so a big deal. Like more and more of Peters decisions lately this was spur of the moment. He could easily have whisked the boy off to a fancy hotel and spoiled him rotten but somehow this just felt more fitting, it felt right to bring Stiles here, to his home. The elevator dings and he catches Stiles by the back of his shirt momentarily choking him yet again as the teen tries to dash out of the elevator. Peter heaves an exasperated sigh and rolls his eyes.

“Brains before beauty.” Peter says as he pushes past Stiles.

The boy opens his mouth to retort but then shuts it and pulls a face of agreeance, blushing slightly. “Booby traps?” he asks looking a bit sheepish, Peter grins and pushes in an wall panel which slides across revealing a complex coding system.

He taps away at superhuman speed and closes it again gesturing for Stiles to come forwards. He approaches the only visible door on the floor and looks at Peter expectantly. Peter smirks and strides to the opposite wall twisting his claw into an embellishment -akin to that of the Hale vault at the school- revealing a black steel door. Stiles attempts briefly to hide his expression of shock but resigns himself to being impressed. Peter grins at him pleased at his reaction.

“Fake door, booby traps, just how did you swing this with your land lord?”

Peter snorts “ I am the land lord.”

“Huh,” Stiles says, not that suprised if he actually thinks about it.

He approaches Peter and the kind of – absolutely- ridiculously cliché door. “ Well this doesn’t look ominous at all. Also, Derek really is inept isn’t he?’

Peter laughs and nods “It’s like he wants to get his ass kicked every week. An intruder alarm that gives 10 seconds warning tops? yeah because that’s an effective way to protect yourself..Idiot.” He mocks, his nod turning into derisive head shaking at his nephews expense.

“Brace Yourselves!” Stiles exclaims crouching behind Peter who looks back at him with the trade mark really? Just really? Hale eyebrows of judging. Stiles straightens up “Hey,” he says defensively “ You lured me here without even the pretence of candy or videogames. What did you expect?”

Peter rolls his eyes, but theatrically proceeds to open the door and stand aside. He subtly extends his foot which Stiles in his rush to enter the mysterious lair promptly trips over. Peter let's him crash to the floor and shrugs while smirking mischievously as Stiles glares at him. The anger is short lived however as stiles takes in his surroundings. Stiles let's his breath out in a whistle.

"So this is your den of iniquity?...huh..."

Peter crosses his arms in a weary gesture, Stiles turns to face him getting up off his knees

. "Go on say it ." Peter concedes.

Stiles feigns and fails at innocence. "Say what?" His obvious glee practically visible bubbling under his skin.

"Whatever sarcastic, whimsical, witty, snide or otherwise "hilarious" (he air quotes) remark you're trying to repress"

Stiles lips are compressing dangerously and his cheeks ballooning.

"Quickly before you implode" Peter continues, looking around his apartment "Though adept at it, I still loathe scrubbing brain matter and viscera off the walls."

Stiles chooses to ignore that creepiness in favour of shouting "YOUR WOLF DEN IS A SOUTHERN LIVING MAGAZINE AD!"

Peter remains stoic and unamused as Stiles doubles over in laughter.

"Do you drive a mini-van? Is there plastic on your couch? Do you have to pick up your kids from soccer practice? Did you make me sweet tea?" Stiles asks dancing around Peter poking him teasingly. The wolf’s eyes follow the boy around and around while he remains still.

"Are you quite done?"

"Not even close."

Peter sighs and uncrosses his arms moving to the left into the kitchen, separated from the open plan living and dining area by a deep brown feature wall. Stiles follows though Peter gave no indication of even slightly wanting him to do so, plonking himself onto a metal stemmed stool at the breakfast bar. He runs his fingers gleefully over the bench top "this isn't real" he mutters reverently "somebody pin...Owww!" Stiles recoils from Peter’s fingers where they've pinched him hard on the nape of the neck. He rubs at the spot levelling a reproach full glare at the older man. Peter laughs and places an empty glass in front of Stiles moving to the opposite side of the bench and leaning towards him.

"You do remember I was catatonic for 6 years, with all my worldly possessions destroyed in a horrific fire, that also decimated my family before I was forced like a spartan vagabond hobo with my nephew because I'm technicaly dead right?"

Stiles looks abashed and flushes, deliberately not meeting the steely blue gaze he knows must be trained on him. Instead he chooses to look down to watch his hands fiddle with the square tumbler. Peter's hand reaches across the bench into his vision and strokes his hand before plucking the cup from his grasp. Stiles bites his lip as he looks up, relieved to find that though the rugged angular face before him isn't wearing it’s typical smirk, it also doesn't look upset. He's wearing a small smile that stops Stiles from worrying at his bottom lip.

"Well that was sufficiently morbid" Peter says airily pushing off the bench to approach the fridge. "Now,” he says as he places the now full tumbler in front of Stiles with a glint in his eye. "Shut up and drink your sweet tea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and love are always appreciated you upstanding members of the social construct ;p  
> Love!  
> Crash xx


	19. bow chicka wow wow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUTTTTTTTTTTTT FINALLY!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BRACE YOURSELVES.  
> Seriously guys. I'm super cereal. This chapter is 4000 words of gratuitous smut and sex scenes.  
> WARNING this chapture is not t rated Prepare for:  
> Graphic sex scenes  
> I've been ambiguous about Stiles age but he's 18 or 19 so thats okay.  
> Scratching biting and general wolfy mating behaviour.  
> Anal sex. Blow Jobs.  
> Blood drawing ( but in a totally heat of the moment kind of way.)  
> etc etc  
> Strap yourselves in yee be warned.  
> ( ITS FINALLY HAPPENING!)

Stiles with wide eyes appraises the glass in front of him, no fucking way! This is the actual best! He can’t help but explode in a fit of hysterical- totally unbecoming – laughter, suppressing it would be like kicking a gift horse in the face. Peter watches the fit with amused interest resting his chin in his hand as he leans over the bench top. The teen’s cheeks flush so prettily in his mirth, his eyes are bright with unshed tears of laughter and his expressive, sinful mouth is contorting in some oh so deviant thought inducing ways. Stiles after a time straightens from his hunched over wheezing and wipes a thumb over his tears grinning at Peter. The wolf smirks and winks at him looking pointedly between Stiles and the glass.

“You’re such a cliché man.” Stiles whines cheerily as he grabs the tumbler chuckling to himself as he raises it to his lips.

He looks over the top of the glass to find Peter eyeing him expectantly. He lowers the glass opening his mouth to say something but is cut off by a displeased growl. Stiles rolls his eyes petulantly but grins, letting the liquid hit his lips smirking slightly to himself as he lets the smallest sips into his mouth. He stifles a groan of pleasure, stupid flashy werewolf of course he makes freakin amazing sweet tea. The jerk. He continues filling his mouth in the smallest increments until he hears a frustrated growl, he looks up to smirk at Peter across from him only to squawk indignantly as his stool is unceremoniously spun until his face is almost flush against a very tightly Henley ensconced slab of muscle. Stiles lets out a meep. Peter leans into the boys space his muscular arms bracketing him against the bench. Stiles gulps as the lust darkened eyes scour his body resting on the tumbler.

“Finish it.” The wolf demands huskily.

Chills roll through Stiles body, his muscles coil in anticipation.

” Aye aye captain.” He says voice dripping with sarcasm but he eagerly does as he’s bid, gulping the amber liquid quickly and smacking his lips in a satisfied gesture momentarily before hungry hot lips descend on his own, devouring him.

Peters hand yanks the now empty glass from Stiles fingers and shoves it in the direction of the counter bringing his hand into the artfully dishevelled brunette locks. He guides the teens head onto an angle giving a pleased rumble when the teen acquiesces to his unspoken request. Stiles absorbs the wolfs attack in slight shock, unable to get his synapses firing until Peter relents on his mouth and more forcefully inserts his body between the teens long legs and leans into the offered expanse of pale throat. Stiles comes to himself and groans wrapping his denim clad legs around Peters waist and loops an arm under the wolfs ample bicep and over his deltoid encouraging the assault on his neck with nails scratching forcefully through Peter’s hair.

Stiles fingers and nails lustfully scraping into his scalp further awakens Peter’s primal urges, his open mouthed ministrations and scenting against the teens throat quickly turn more aggressive. He does nothing to stop the elongation of his teeth and delights at Stiles submitting to his wolf so eagerly as he scrapes them against his tender flesh. He presses into the skin until the blood rises to the surface making the white skin appear even more translucent and fragile.

Stiles moans throatily becoming hyper aware of his body. The exhalations and growls against his neck stimulate his entire being, his skin becomes aflame with sensation. He brings the wolf even closer by wrapping his legs tighter around Peter. His jeans however restrict him from grinding their arousal together. His cock is hot and hard and aching in the confines of his jeans and he aches to rut against Peter. Fuck ! Why are his jeans so fucking tight? ! A needy whimper escapes his throat as he clings bodily to the wolf leaning into him. Peter appears insensed with lust as he raises himself to look inquiringly at Stiles. His chest is heaving slightly and his eyes are glazed, his distended fangs sending a rush of arousal into Stiles gut and causes his cock to twitch nervously. He swallows another needy noise, Peter smirks knowingly and heaves Stiles up and against him carrying the teens weight with a supporting arm under his ass.

“ Bed?” He whispers into the teen’s ear.His hot breath sending shivers down Stiles spine.

Peter chuckles at Stiles emphatic nodding against his shoulder but growls approvingly as well as he wolf speeds them to his sanctuary. Stiles expels a breathless laugh as he’s thrown down into a blissful softness awash with the smell of Peter. He rolls onto his stomach and buries his face in the bedding inhaling loudly and obviously.

Peter had thought he was turned on before, but now , witnessing this boy rolling around and covering himself in the wolfs scent - as if he belongs there and very obviously enjoying it- is making it unbearable to remain within his constricting clothes.

Stiles looks up curiously at the sound of tearing cloth and flushes hotly as Peter stands there, gaze locked on the teen awash in his scent sprawled over his bed Peter growls deep in his chest his claws are extended, his pants torn from his body. Stiles gapes and can find no reason at all why he shouldn’t be, even confined in the tight black material Peters cock looks sexily confronting. Gulp. Stiles opts for something slightly smoother than just exclaiming an unintelligible noise of lust and appreciation. He envies Peters freedom from his pants.

“Man I wish I could do that..” Stiles groans mournfully palming at the bulge in his pants uncomfortably, eyeing the wolf’s bare thighs in appreciation.

Damn, he’s really going to have to watch what he says he realises as he drags his attention back to the older man’s face. Peter’s mouth quirks into a predatory grin that makes Stiles heart thump even faster as he approaches the bed. Shit! Stiles attempts to scramble away as Peter tenses and pounces, his heavy cock bouncing and straining against the taut black material of his briefs. Stiles blames the hypnotic effect of THAT for his inability to react. Taking advantage of Stiles transfixion Peter grabs his leg and uses it to yank the boy towards him, grabbing hold of the waist of the truly indecent jeans Peters flexes his claws and pulls the denim pulling away like butter, he pulls them down Stiles slender but well-muscled legs and tosses them carelessly to the floor. Stiles still on his stomach looks over his shoulder at the wolf who happily has both hands splayed over the globes of Stiles buttocks massaging and squeezing the pliable flesh through his underwear. Why! Is he still wearing underwear?!

“I always figured you for a strip and fold kind of guy.” Stiles quips trying not to get distracted by the sensation of the man’s hands on him or the expressions on his face.

Peter’s attention is only temporarily diverted as he delivers his response. “ Not with you.”

Oh.

Stiles mind races. God what is this what’s happening?! His cock however yells furiously at him until he loses himself in the sensation this is not the time for analysis…hehehe anal. Shut up brain!!!

Peter lifts his weight slightly from where he’s straddling the back of Stiles thighs and manipulates the teen with his overpowering strength until he’s flipped onto his back, still trapped between Peter’s powerful legs. Peter leans closer to grip the hem of Stiles shirt and pull it over his head. The movement brings their cocks together and they both gasp. Peter pauses in his mission to remove Stiles shirt overpowered by the hot sensation - vowing to get them both naked ASAP- he growls softly as he rolls his hips into Stiles they both moan at the contact. Peter hurriedly strips Stiles of his shirt and sits up resting his weight deliberately and heavily on Stiles as he yanks his sinful v-neck off and flings it across the room. The rumble in his chest provoked by Stiles lascivious licking of his lips as he surveys Peter’s torso reverberates through both their bodies. The teen attempts to sit up and claim Peters mouth but is forced back down as Peter shoves a hand into his chest. He pauses only a moment to admire the smooth creamy plains and undulations of Stiles body before he’s over-come with urgency. The hand on Stiles chest is quickly followed by the wolfs stocky powerful body, he presses the slighter man heavily into the feather top mattress. Stiles thinks he should probably feel threatened about now, trapped, but the heavier body draped over his own just makes him feel secure. Peter kisses the boys ear . " If theres anything you need to take care of, do it now." The wolf commands. Honestly he doesnt really care but humans have such ridiculous hang ups. Stiles shivers at the breath in his ear but tests himself squeezing internally. He shakes his head and Peter growls rolling his hips.The scant chest hairs between them allows for frictionless sliding of hot skin on skin as they roll and grind themselves together. Peter runs his claws along the underside of Stiles arms and the younger man suspects Peter will capture his wrists and forcefully take control. Instead the wolf encourages Stiles to put his hands on him, he makes responsive approving noises as Stiles scrapes his nails down the muscular planes of Peters back .

Peter looks into Stiles eyes before covering his mouth with his own the taste of the younger man encouraging him to rut more languorously, grinding them slowly together. Stiles moans into the kiss and runs his fingers firmly down and over the dimples of Peter’s lower back, god they’re so sexy. He wishes he could look at them. Instead he slips his hand under the wide designer band of the wolfs underwear and digs his nails possessively into the flesh of the man’s ass. Peter gasps and growls into Stiles mouth. The boy grins, the werewolf is turned on by scratching and aggression, go figure. Peters shifts until he’s kissing along Stiles jaw line up to his ear he starts sucking on the lobe.

“Do it again.” He growls to Stiles.

Stiles only too happily does as he’s commanded, his left hand joining his right happily burrowed under Peters underwear. He grabs hold of both of Peters mounds his fingernails harshly break into the flesh as he pulls Peter into him. Peter exhales a breathy groan and thrusts into Stiles groin as he throws his head back. Stiles follows the werewolf’s movements shifting his grip up to his back giving himself leverage to lift his face into the junction of Peter’s broad shoulder and throat biting sharply into the flesh. Peter cries out in ecstasy his claws dangerously close to tearing his expensive bedding to shreds. He growls and pushes a chuckling Stiles back into the bed.

“ You’re very close to making me embarrass myself and I’d much rather cum all over your bare flesh than in the confines of my underwear like a teenager.” Peter scolds darkly knowing that Stiles is well aware of what’s he’s doing.

“ Well what are you waiting for then.” Stiles challenges.

Fuck. That was dumb.

Peter snarls and tears both of their briefs off, his right hand forcefully restraining Stiles chest from moving, the pinpricks of his claws a promise into Stiles flesh. Peter moans as his flesh glides against Stiles for the first time, their pre-cum combine into a light viscous lubrication. Stiles wants a show huh? Well Peters not one to deny Stiles anything, even if he’d rather watch their cocks slide and grind against the grooves of their bodies. Peter ignores Stiles cock and grabs his own impressive member in hand. Stiles watches with wides eyes as Peter violently jerks his angry red cock, an animalistic display just for him that has Stiles ready to burst on his own. He’s gasping slightly his breathing echoing Peters. The wolfs eyes glow blue as he grunts and growls the hand on Stiles chest spasming and causing light welts in the teens flesh. The blue lightning gaze bores into Stiles wide whiskey one and he groans forcefully as his gratification explodes from his grip splattering over Stiles belly and chest even as far as the underside of his jaw. Peter groans at the sight, his werewolf nature sated more by the display of semen coated flesh, his scent seeping into the boys pores. MINE.

The wolf’s chest is heaving with the exertion of release and Stiles welcomes the impending collapse of his body on top of his own. Peter however suprises him forgoing basking in his bliss in favour of sliding himself further back down the bed, a hand moves down Stiles body as he does so imbuing his spunk into the creamy skin. His lightly stubbled face prickles against Stiles abdomen as he caresses him, kissing sucking and massaging his cum like a soothing lotion into the flesh simultaneously. Stiles breath comes in gasps, his hips writhing needily as Peter comes closer and closer to his aching appendage. The man buries his nose into the small gathering of curls running from Stiles navel and downwards. Peter moans in want as he inhales the musky scent of Stiles. His mouth opens and runs over Stiles pubic hair grabbing some lightly in his teeth and tugging his wolfy fangs grazing the tender and sensitive skin leaving slowly fading red lines in his wake. He’s moving slowly, so slowly savouring the scent and taste. Stiles is coming undone incoherent and frustrated trying to force contact with peter but the wolf is too powerful. Peter smirks into the dusting of dark hair he’s been nuzzling for the last few minutes as Stiles curses him. With inhuman speed he allays the boys newest string of profanities as he engulfs Stiles cock in the hot chasm of his mouth. Stiles cries out a groan of surprise and relief and jerks into Peters throat, the wolf easily taking Stiles not inconsiderable length into his mouth and deeper. The muscles of his throat are milking the boys head as his tongue lathes the underside vein. He creates a ring around the teens base grasping firmly with two fingers and thumb and lifts his head releasing the twitching cock from his throat and bobbing back again quickly. He begins jerking his encircling hand up and down in a rhythm that has Stiles jolting, writhing and cursing spastically.

“Fuck, Peter shit yes, god. FUCK!” He shouts as he spills down Peters accommodating throat.

His body jerks and spasms sporadically as he comes down, riding the high of his orgasm.

Peter brings the head of Stiles cock to rest on his tongue as he ejaculates to better savour the intoxicating flavour. He moans as it shoots into his mouth and trickles down his tongue sliding thickly down his throat. Peter releases Stiles from between his lips but is nowhere near done yet. Servicing his.. Servicing Stiles is more than enough to ready him, his dick is engorged hot and wanting again. He smirks as he gathers some of his semen coating Stiles chest and pooling in the slight dip of his navel. Thank god for werewolf stamina and copious ejaculate. He can’t resist running a now slick finger lightly over Stiles parted lips. The boy smiles with closed eyes and runs his tongue teasingly over the path the finger took, tasting the wolf. Peter moans and scoops up more of his release from Stiles beautiful mole kissed body. He lowers two liberally heaped fingers to the junction of Stiles thighs grazing the now flaccid cock affectionately with the side of his hand. He growls happily, completely in sync with his animal side as he rubs his cum in circles around the boys opening before breaching the pink ring with a cum covered finger. Stiles tenses slightly but the intensity of his orgasm has left him unusually placid and relaxed- it’s not at all even slightly related to the fact that maybe just maybe he might trust the conniving creeperwolf-. Peter circles the digit, swirling, bending and extending, his eyes alternating between his actions and Stiles face his gaze equally rapturous and ravenous.. Stiles moans as a finger curls against his rim depositing more of Peters essence inside of him .

“ You know that really shouldn’t be so hot. Pervert.”

“Mmmmm” Peter agrees, too content to even fake playfulness or disagree.

This is what it should always be like he thinks . Not the uncivilised mounting and muffled grunting in hotel rooms and mens clubs and cars and bars and…- he was being spoon fed for 6 years he had a lot of pent up sexual frustration. So sue him.- you get the picture. God he feels cheesy even thinking this, well fuck it Peter just enjoy it why bother judging yourself. He fingers Stiles gently but with newfound conviction, adding a second digit when he’s satisfied the boy is stretched enough. Stiles welcomes the new intrusion groaning contentedly and opening his legs wider. Peter humms his approval.

“ Good boy.” He murmurs fixated on the sight of his knuckles disappearing and emerging and the white creamy essence of himself being ferried deeper into the musculsar passage. “ Mmmmmmh .” He moans.

 Slowly he begins scissoring his fingers spreading them apart and twisting. Stiles becomes more responsive gasping slightly as Peters fingers brush inside him intimately. He moans and unconsciously clenches around the thick digits, his cock swelling again against his abdomen. Peter’s eyes close and his mouth drops open as he imagines that sensation clenching on his cock. The heavy member that hangs stiffly between his thighs twitches in anticipation, a small ooze of pre-cum dots the head. He moans as he adds a third finger and Stiles starts pressing him-self needily against them, small whimpers and gasps escaping him. Unable to restrain himself any longer Peter quickly removes him-self from inside Stiles and pushes fluidly from the bed ignoring Stiles squawking and the flailing hand that tries to grip him and pull him back. Peter smiles indulgently at him -the boys eyes are no longer glazed but shining bright and eager- as he approaches his dresser and removes a glass bottle, quickly loping back to the bed and settling between Stiles open and inviting legs. He growls happily as he looks at Stiles, bent knees spread and feet pressed into the bed allowing him to tilt his pelvis and present himself to the wolf, Stiles grins back at him.

“Honestly I would take spit right now, so give it a move on with your fancy ass vial of lubrication and get inside of me.”

Peter is honestly glad he has expensive glass bottled mage perfected lube because if he’d been holding a tube he would have comically squirted it everywhere at Stiles dirty plea.

“Naughty.” He tuts but quickly slathers himself delighting in the tingling and heat it provokes.

He leans over Stiles releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding when their eyes meet. Beautiful. Their pupils are blown and they both look thoroughly debauched but in this moment there is only the two of them and none of the nasty self-abhorrent voices in their heads even think about surfacing. Stiles wraps his legs over Peters hips and curls an arm around his torso hand resting on his shoulder blades, his other reaches for Peter’s hand and settles their entwined fingers beside Stiles head.

“I want you.” Stiles says huskily using his legs to encourage Peters head to his entrance.

Peter presses himself against Stiles opening almost shaking in anticipation “ You have me.” Peter moans through his teeth as he sinks his searing length into Stiles. He is definitely saving this tender cliché’d moment for later to tease Stiles with.

“ Uh, UhUhnnnnn,” Stiles moans and cries as Peter buries himself inside of him.Their eyes are both closed in appreciative bliss when Peter bottoms out his trimmed pubic hairs tickling Stiles rim.

“Oh. Oh god. What is tha…unnngh” Stiles mutters volume increasing and petering out as the sensation is absorbed.

His eyes shoot open and close, his body shudders lightly. Peter moans softly as the shudder ripples through Stiles tight channel. He observes Stiles and his reactions eagerly.

“ What is that?”

Peter winks at him mischievously as he responds, “ magic.”

Stiles groans and rolls his eyes, head flopping more heavily into the bed. “Now that’s cliché’ man,” he says but looks reverently at where their bodies are joined “and I don’t even care. You feel soooo fucking good.”

Peter moans and kisses Stiles fervently in response, their bodies rolling Peters cock grinding deeply inside Stiles, the lube shooting sparks of hot electric desire and calmer cool alternating pulses . Peter withdraws from Stiles and begins a smooth constant pistoning momentum. Stiles mouth goes slack as Peter continues to massage his internal sweet spot the alternating heat sparks and cool waves making him unable to focus on kissing Peter anymore, he’s entirely lost in sensation, panting and keening. Peter gives a lost groan at the noises his partner is making he nuzzles deeply into Stiles neck scenting him. His thrusts become longer and deeper resting fully inside Stiles for a moment before almost entirely withdrawing his breath coming in sharp exhales and grunts against Stiles neck and shoulder. The new tempo urges Stiles to pull up onto Peter rocking into the momentum ,their bodies meeting with an almost crashing impact. Stiles moans as the force jolts his balls forwards again and again. Peter and Stiles hands cling together tightly pressed deeply into the bed under the wolfs weight. The space between impacts becomes shorter, Peter’s scrotum drawn tighter no longer landing heavily against Stiles ass, their breathing in sync now is ragged. Stiles is urging Peter on with salacious cursing and moaning and sharp nails that would have severely damaged a mere mortals back.

“ Fuck , yes that’s it, oh Peter, crap , yes , That’s it!”

The pain drives Peter wild, his human exhalations becoming incensed snarls and growling whines. The build is reaching a crescendo, Stiles almost crys as the shallow thrusts and grinding punches sensation into his prostate . He clenches unconsciously and repeatedly around the werewolf as he approaches his climax. Peter curses and heaves a final heavy thrust into Stiles, his head arches back as he emits a crazed animalistic noise he descends teeth bared and closes his mouth over Stiles shoulder, rupturing as sweet blood hits his tongue. Stiles climax is simultaneous the pain driving him over the edge the slow trickle of Peters blood across his fingers is a sensation entirely remiss in the ocean that overwhelms him. This time Peter does bodily collapse onto Stiles, The teens legs unravel, the loose limbs collapsing to the side. WOW. He breathes and unclenches his hand from Peter’s back.

Peter forcefully retracts his fangs and suckles gently on the wound he inflicted. The hand clasping stiles begins to thread black in its veins as Peter pulls away all the boys aches and the pain of the perfect imprint of Peters teeth. Stiles feels beyond sated and relaxed, loose and pliant unlike he’s ever really felt before. He shiver delicately as he feels Peters tongue swirl gently over the bite that Stiles tries and fails to actively feel. He smiles at the ceiling and rests the side of his face against Peters head. Stiles heaves a happy sigh and runs his hand over Peters back. Peter rumbles pleased and nuzzles under the teens jaw before returning to bathe the punctures which he doesn’t even pause to admire, too busy ensuring Stiles comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so done haha.This chapter murdered me, I hope you enjoyed it! I love writing smut haha unfortunately it was a bit rushed because I NEEDED to share it !  
> Please let me know what you think.  
> Thank you to all you fabulous cats who continue to read and a standing ovation to those who kudos and comment you motivate the shiat out of my lazy ass!  
> Lots of Love  
> Crash XX


	20. Hooked on a Feelin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles discovers the playlists Peter has created for him on his phone while the wolf sleeps beside hime. There totally isn't any iffeminate swooning or coo-ing and awwing of any kind. Nope. Nup. Nudda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took so long because I was figuring out Playlists. Yes I'm one of those people that actually has playlists for their pairings. I'm awesome I know XD.

Peter is huge on control, especially after riding shotgun to his psychotic wolf crazed on power and revenge. He exerts this control over his life and himself: in suppressing his shift( as well as you know), creeping around and lurking to gain information and knowledge i.e blackmail material. Everyone else thought he was just too weak to transform after he came back to himself and initially that may have true but honestly how weak could he really be if he could manipulate someone into resurrecting him from the other side ? Phhhh, morons. Well they can think what they want, it just means he has another ace up his sleeve. Even though he shifted tonight it wasn’t as if he was succumbing to his baser nature, he had just lost himself in the moment and embraced himself for who and what he is and it’s not like Stiles didn’t enjoy it. The mechanical chasing of release in previous trysts had never felt like this, he had had total control then, dominance, power. He didn’t want to exert control over Stiles, he was his equal, he contested and questioned him. He’d always felt that if someone could best him or challenge him it would be the boy. The earth moves beneath him..no wait that’s Stiles shifting uncomfortably. Whoops he’s still sprawled on top of him, Peter shifts slightly and yes that is his cock still ensconced inside of the younger man. He makes a discontented noise as he pulls out and moves to collapse beside the teen but not before replacing his still semi engorged member with two of his fingers. 

Stiles flails unenergetically complaining. “ Come on man give a guy a bre..oh…yeah, no. Carry on.”

Peter had growled face first into the mattress at Stiles complaint and started massing his insides with smooth rhythmic strokes. He gives a satisfied rumble as his fluids swirl over his fingers and soak inside the boy. Though he could remain inside the boy all night it’s probably not the best step to be taking in their relationship, not to mention unsanitary. He withdraws his sodden digits and wipes the excess on Stiles pale thighs drawing a noise of complaint which he promptly shuts up by using werewolf strength enforced spooning. Stiles finds himself on his side with a werewolf electric blanket draped across his back he huffs in feigned annoyance.

“Okay fine, cuddle time then shower and I’m only agreeing in the hopes that you fall asleep and I can a.) steal all your stuff or b.) send really disturbing images to Derek because let’s be honest he deserves it.”

Peter makes an annoyed sound of agreement and then smothers Stiles mouth with his hand.  
“Quiet time now.” He mumbles into the pillow and Stiles hair. 

Stiles licks the palm over his hand which remains in place he sighs then and relaxes, resigned to his fate as forced cuddle buddy.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Stiles squirms slightly in an attempt to try and wriggle free of Peter’s grip. The wolf had manipulated him over onto his side and was pressed up against the length of his bare body, there was a muscular leg thrown over Stiles own, an arm curled around his waist and pressing against his sternum. Peters other arm rested under the pillow cradling Stiles head and his stubble was lightly scratching against the side of the youngers jaw. Hooray for Peter for getting what Stiles assumes is a well needed rest- after all he spends most nights on Stiles roof or sneaking into his room to mess around with his music- Stiles however doesn't have the luxury of super healing and he can practically feel the bacteria festering in all the delicious sex inflicted battle wounds.He squirms a little more vigorously this time and Peter growls in his sleep at him. 

“ Fine but I’m reaching for my phone and there’s nuttin you can do about it.”

Stiles just about pulled his arm out of his socket but he managed to stretch far enough to scrabble his phone off the bedside table. He pumps the air in victory and begins the quest of finding something to do. He decides after this momentous occasion that he should make Peter a new playlist when he gets into the music file though he finds something that distracts him. Sitting there in his playlists are each of the lists that Peter and Stiles created on his laptop. Huh they must’ve synced without his notice. Somehow he’d neglected to even look at the ones on his computer. He smiles bemused at Peter as he analyses the man’s first playlist equal parts insulting, funny and flirtatious it was entitled. Stiles has a Mangina because obviously Stiles can’t watch Step Brothers without Zombie wolf listening in.

It progresses from that to outrageously sexual and kind of flattering, to endearing and affectionate but still with some of both of their snide dry wit and humour and Peter’s dramatic flair –obviously-. Seeing the evolution of the man’s feelings towards him makes his heart clench uncomfortably and his stomach flutter in surprise. He looks to his own playlists comprised with Peter in mind, some being in response to the other man’s songs or what Stiles felt about them and the wolf. His song progression was similar. This couldn’t actually be something could it? Oh god what if it is?! He suddenly has an image of him and Peter adopting a little African baby and living on a ranch in Texas surrounded by miniature ponies and pot-bellied pigs. His heart starts pounding so loud that the rest of reality becomes oblivion.  
Peter groans and with his hand and leg shoves Stiles flailing off the bed. 

“Panic somewhere else,” was the muffled excuse for his actions.

Play lists.  
Peter on Stiles.

No sugar- (thirsty merc)  
little red riding hood- The coasters  
Pretty fly for a white guy-The offspring  
White n nerdy -weird al  
Am I ever gonna see your face again (stiles sang no way get fucked fuck off)  
Gaybar- electric six  
Come and get your love - redbone  
The wolf- miniature tigers  
Little monster - royal blood   
Hot blooded. Foreign  
TNT-ACDC  
Sexy Nerd- Johnny Mcgovern  
Unzip me- Cazwell and Peaches  
Fuck her gently- Tenacious D  
Sexy boy- Air  
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo- BloodHound Gang  
Dick in a box- Lonely island feat JT  
Rock you like a hurricane- Scorpions  
Why can't be friends - Smashmouth  
I want it that way-BsB  
Lying is the most fun a girl can have (without taking her clothes off) – Panic at the disco.  
500 miles - the proclaimers  
Rebel yell- billy idol  
Howlin’ for you- The Black Keys  
One way or another- Blondie  
Every Breath You Take- The police  
Hangin’ on the Telephone- End of Fashion  
Lonely boy- The Black Keys  
Harder to breathe- maroon 5  
Kamikaze- End of Fashion  
Surrender - ballpark music  
Come with me now - kongos.   
You can be so cruel- royal blood  
Lonely Avenue- buoy oh buoy(jjjjunearthed)  
Clear my mind- high learys  
Lets spend the night together- The Rolling Stones  
You shook me all night long-ACDC  
I Touch Myself- The Divinyls  
Stay.with me -sam smith  
I bet my life.-Imagine Dragons  
Alone in my home- Jack white  
Every other freckle -alt j

 

Stiles on Peter.  
Psycho killer - talking heads.  
Dig, lazarus, dig!!!-Nick Cave  
Highway to hell - ACDC  
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap-ACDC  
Werewolves of London- Warren Zevon  
Bad to the bone- George Thorogood  
The Imperial March (Darth Vader theme)  
Fussy- End of fashion  
Red right hand- Nick cave  
Wolf - Kingswood  
Hungry like the wolf- Duran duran  
New moon rising - wolf mother  
Bad moon rising- credence Clearwater.   
Lullaby for a sadist-Korn  
Bad karma- Ida Maria  
Dinosaur- kesha  
Bark at the moon- ozzie Osborne  
Smooth criminal- Alien ant farm  
Back in black -ACDC  
POWER PURSUIT of happiness - Kid Cudi  
Creep-radiohead  
Stop right now- Spice girls  
No sex for ben- The Rapture  
Punch you in the Jeans- The lonely Island  
You’re a Hotdog- Rocky Horror Picture Show  
Tainted Love- Scorpions  
Lock up your daughters- End of Fashion  
In Memory of Satan- The Mountain goats  
Yoh tell me what you want. - spice girls  
Maybe tomorrow - chance waters.  
Cotton-The mountain goats  
Sympathy for the devil- The Rolling Stones  
Love Interruption -Jack White   
Figure it out - Royal blood  
Shaking –Jack white  
Burning in Neon- End of Fashion  
Animals-Savage garden  
Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch me-Rocky Horror Picture Show  
Hooked on a Feelin’- Blue Suede  
Work -1,2,3  
Big Time- back back forward punch

 

.

Stiles stalks off scooping his phone from the floor and placing it with his other possessions on the breakfast bar when he goes to the kitchen to get a drink. He stomps loudly to the bathroom provoking some colourful cursing and growling from the other room. He smirks happily and starts singing obnoxiously loud as he showers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wan't to know about any particular song choices or what not ask me :D it was so much fun. I shazaamed the shit out of this month.   
> My readers are rock gods of fangasmic champagne and what not and I love you xxxx
> 
> Crash xx

**Author's Note:**

> Xox
> 
> Come freak with me on tumblr!
> 
> Crashlea-hart


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